ammar r.

yo mama Yo mama so fat when she bungee jumps she goes straight to hell! Yo mama lips so big, Chap Stick had to invent a spray!! Yo mama's glasses are so thick she can see into the future!! Yo mama like a rifle... four cocks and she's loaded!! Yo mama like the pillbury doughboy--everyone gets a poke! Yo mama so poor she can't afford to pay attention! Yo mama so poor when I ring the doorbell she says, "DING!" Yo mama so ugly even Rice Krispies won't talk to her! Yo mama so ugly she made an onion cry! Yo mama so stupid she bought a solar-powered flashlight! Yo mama so stupid she hears it's chilly outside so she gets a bowl! Yo mama so fat she's got more Chins than a Hong Kong phone book! Yo mama so fat she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller! Yo mama so fat when her beeper goes off, people thought she was backing up! Yo mama so fat she eats Wheat Thicks! Yo mama is like a doorknob everybody gets a turn! Yo mama's teeth are so yellow, when she smiles, traffic slows down! Your mama is so fat: When she hauls ass she has to make two trips. When she dances she makes the band skip. When she was diagnosed with the flesh eating disease the doctor gave her 13 years to live. She puts mayonnaise on aspirin. (<- clearly the winner) Her cereal bowl came with a lifeguard. When she goes to the zoo the elephants throw her peanuts. Her high school graduation picture was an aerial photograph. Her driver's license says "Picture continued on other side." She has to iron her pants on the driveway. The back of her neck looks like a pack of hot dogs. Yo mama's so fat, all the restaurants in town have signs that say: "Maximum Occupancy: 240 Patrons OR Yo Mama" Yo mama's so fat, when she ran away, they had to use all four sides of the milk carton. Yo mama's so fat, instead of Levis 501 jeans, she wears Levi's 1002's. Yo mama's so fat, when she gets in an elevator, it HAS to go down. Yo mama's so fat, she was born with a silver shovel in her mouth. Yo mama's so fat, she's got smaller fat women orbiting around her. Yo mama's so fat, she could sell shade. Yo mama's so fat, when she crosses the street, cars look out for her. Yo mama's so fat, people jog around her for exercise. Yo mama's so fat, I ran around her twice and got lost. Yo mama's so fat, she gets runs in her jeans. Yo mama's so fat, her blood type is Ragu. Yo mama's so fat, when she goes to a restaurant, she doesn't get a menu, she gets an estimate. Yo mama's so fat, if she got her shoes shined, she'd have to take his word for it! Yo mama's so fat, she has to put her belt on with a boomerang. Yo mama's so fat, she can't even jump to a conclusion. Yo mama's so fat, she broke her leg and gravy dripped out. Yo mama's so fat, she went to the movies and sat next to everyone. Yo mama' so fat... She fell in love and she broke it. She jumped on a scale and it said "to be continued". She jumped on a scale and it said "one at a time please". She jumped on a dollar and got four quarters. She's got her own area code. Her measurements are 36-24-36, and her other arm is just as big. When God said let there be light, he told her to move her ass over. She smokes a turkey after sex Yo mama's so old... She was in Jesus's yearbook. When God said let there be light, she flipped the switch. Her driver's license number is one. Yo family's so poor... Your house has a kickstand. You have to go home and take off your clothes so your father has pants to go to work Yo dad's so bald... He reaches into his pants just to run his fingers through his hair. Yo house is so nasty... The roaches wear shoes. You wipe your feet before going out. Yo mama's so stupid... She thought a quaterback is a refund. I gave a penny for her thoughts and got change back. What did the gangster's son tell his dad when he failed his examination? Dad they questioned me for 3 hours but I never told them anything." What's the difference between people who pray in church and those who pray in casinos? The ones in the casinos are serious. When I was young I used to pray for a bike, then I realized that God doesn't work that way, so I stole a bike and prayed for forgiveness. A little boy went up to his father and asked, "Dad, where did all of my intelligence come from?" His father replied, "Well, son you must have gotten it from your mother, because I still have mine." Sunny's teacher sent a note home to his Mother saying, "Sunny seems to be a very bright boy, but spends too much of his time thinking about girls." The Mother wrote back the next day, "If you find a solution, please advise. I have the same problem with his Father." Yo mama's so fat... ...she keeps elephant putty in her purse. ...a car hit her and she yelled, "WHO THREW THAT?" ...she saw a sign that said "Say No to Crack" and it reminded her to pull up her pants. ...she can take a shower without getting her feet wet. ...she lives in two ZIP codes and nobody will date her. ...she wore a watch on each wrist and they were in different time zones. ...she walked through the trailer park and caused $10,000,000 in damages. ...she doesn't have to dial 1 and the area code when calling long-distance. ...she looks like she's smuggling a Winnebago. ...they tried to calculate her weight in gold--and made Fort Knox bankrupt. ...her talking scale lied to her. ...she can drive in the diamond carpool lane without anyone else being in the car. ...she caused a rectal eclipse. ...she ate a Dairy Queen burger without chewing. ...the photo machine in the mall charged her for 5 people. ...her blood goes through her veins saying, "Excuse me, pardon me, comin' through, gangway!" ...her cooler doubles as a bedpan. ...she walked in the bank and they turned off the security cameras. ...the Mona Lisa saw her and lost her smile. ...they use her lard to make artificial popcorn butter. ...her role as Juliet in high school completely ruined the play -- not to mention the school. ...she works on a wrecking crew but doesn't operate any machines. Yo mamma is so fat, when school busses drive by, she yells "Twinkies"! Yo mamma is so dumb, she wore a hard hat to Wal Mart because it said "Watch out for falling prices!" Yo Mamma is so poor, I saw her diggin throught TOYS R US dumpster I said what are you doing..she said Christmas shopping. Yo mamma is so fat, when she came out of the water..people said.."Hey..Free Willy" Yo mamma is so dumb, the supermarket's sign said "Wet Floor"...so she did! Yo mama so ugly when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, no professionals." Yo mama so ugly just after she was born, her mother said "What a treasure!" and her father said "Yes, let's go bury it." Yo mama so ugly they push her face into dough to make gorilla cookies. Yo mama so ugly instead of putting the bungee cord around her ankle, they put it around her neck Yo mama so ugly she gets 364 extra days to dress up for Halloween. Yo mama so ugly when she walks into a bank, they turn off the surveillence cameras Yo mama so ugly her mom had to tie a steak around her neck to get the dogs to play with her. Yo mama so ugly the government moved Halloween to her birthday. Yo mama so ugly that if ugly were bricks she'd have her own projects. Yo mama so ugly she made an onion cry. Yo mama so ugly when they took her to the beautician it took 12 hours for a quote! Yo mama so ugly she tried to take a bath the water jumped out! Yo mama so ugly she looks out the window and gets arrested! Yo mama so ugly even Rice Krispies won't talk to her! Yo mama so ugly Ted Danson wouldn't date her! Yo mama so ugly for Halloween she trick or treats on the phone! Yo mama so ugly she turned Medusa to stone! Yo mama so ugly people go as her for Halloween. Yo mama so ugly she scares the roaches away. Yo mama so ugly I heard that your dad first met her at the pound. Yo mama so ugly that your father takes her to work with him so that he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye. Yo mama so ugly she is very successful at her job: Being a scarecrow Yo mama so ugly she has to sneak up on a glass of water Yo mama so ugly she walked into a huanted house and came out with an application Yo mama so ugly she look like she fell out the ugly tree and hit every limb on the way down. Yo mama so ugly when she walks by a toilet it flushes itself. Yo mama so ugly when she was born the doctor slapped her mom Yo mama so ugly that when she stcks her head out of the car window the police say "No dogs allowed to drive!" Yo mama so ugly I've seen better face on a can of dog food Yo mama so ugly I flushed the toilet and she said "You just flushed my picture" Yo mama so ugly she asked me what my sign was I said "stop" Yo mama so ugly the tide wouldn't take her out Yo mama so ugly she makes her picture every time she goes to the bathroom Yo mama so ugly when she takes a shower it's like "Gorillas in the Mist" Yo mama so ugly ugly when she put her ear to her bowl of rice crispies to hear snap, crackle, pop, all she could hear was "lets get the hell out of here" Yo mama so ugly when she goes camping the bears light a fire to keep HER away! Yo mama so ugly she wears her halloween mask everyday. Yo mama so ugly she made profit for the "idea" of her costume! Yo mama so ugly when she goes Halloween shoppin', People try to buy her! Yo mama so ugly when she can scare a hungry bulldog off the back of a meatwagon. Yo mama so ugly when the doctor gave her a face lift, he got a hernia. Yo mama so ugly when she played in the sandbox, the cat tried to cover her up. Yo mama so ugly she models for Kibbles and Bitts. Yo mama so ugly when she was born they slapped the wrong end. Your mama's so ugly, when she was born they put tinted windows on her incubator. Your mama's so fat, when she lays on the beach nobody else gets any sun. Your mama's so stupid, when her job application asked what sex she was she put twice a week. Your mama's so poor her family has to eat cereal with a fork to save milk. Your mama's house is so small, the front door is the back door.

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