Funny.com. Work in progress... In the meantime, here are 10 random funny stuff for you:

Crysta R.

I get so sick of those telephone people calling all the time. "Yes this is Associates Credit and we want ..." Well, here is an effective way to get them to quit calling. Caller: Hello this is (company or item being sold) and we would like to speak to (whoever). Are they available? Me: Yeah. (Long silence) You wanna talk to em? Caller: Um, Yes please. Thank you. Me: Well, I'm not gonna give them the phone. (I was about 13 when I tried this) Caller: Little girl, let me speak with you mother or ... Me: Or what? Caller: I just ..." Me: hang on please ... Caller: (mumbling) finally ... I hate kids ... Me: (leaves phone unattended for ten minutes, picks up phone and to my surprise she is still there, disguise my voice) Hello, this is (whoever), may I help you? Caller: Yes, I am from - Me: Hold please Caller: (sigh) Me: (no longer disguising my voice but faking crying ten minutes later) I have no friends ... it would be nice to have a friend, seeing how persistent you are, maybe you would like to be my friend?? Caller: (exasperated) LET ME SPEAK WITH YOUR MOTHER!! Me: UGH ok! Caller: Jeez ... Me: (leaves phone unattended for ten more minutes, disguises voice) Hello I'm back, I was in the bathroom. I have had this terrible pain in my stomach and it makes me - Caller: MA'AM!! Hello, I am from (company) and I was - Me: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Caller: Ma'am?? Ma'am is everything alright???? Ma'am!! Me: Sorry, I saw what I thought was a bug. It was an old raisin. Do you like raisins? I like em, they do give me gas sometimes and - Caller: Mrs. (whoever) I am from (company) and I was wondering - Me: Why did you interrupt me? That was rude. I was just going to tell you that raisins get stuck in my teeth sometimes and my husband gets dia - Caller: Ma'am I really am not interested in what happens when you eat raisins and - Me: I am really not interested in whatever you want to sell me ... (no longer disguising my voice) Caller: YOU! Please, I am begging you let me talk to your mother ... Me: Oh ... She is not here. But, I still have no friends and ...:) Caller: OGHUGHG!! (hangs up LOUDLY) The funniest part of the story is my mother was sitting next to me the whole time holding another phone, listening to the whole thing .....

funniness: 8.22

rating: G

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Romi S.

A lady walked into a drugstore and told the pharmacist she needed some cyanide right away. The pharmacist naturally was concerned by such a request and asked, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?" The lady then explained that she needed it to poison her husband. The pharmacist's eyes got big and he said, "I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband! That's against the law! I'll lose my license. They'll throw both of us in jail and all kinds of bad things will happen! Absolutely not! You cannot have any cyanide!" The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife. The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, "Well, now. You didn't tell me you had a prescription."

funniness: 9.40

rating: PG-13

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Moe R.

She was in the kitchen preparing to boil eggs for breakfast as he walked in. She turned and said, "you've got to make love to me this very moment." His eyes lit up and he thought, "this is my lucky day." Not wanting to lose the moment, he embraced her and then gave it his all; right there on the kitchen table. Afterwards she said, "thanks," and returned to the stove. More than a little puzzled, he asked, "what was that all about?" She replied, "the egg timer's broken."

funniness: 8.06

rating: PG

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Virginia M.

A bakery owner hires a young, attractive female clerk who likes to wear very short skirts and thong panties. One day a young man enters the store, glances at the clerk and spots the loaves of bread behind the counter. Noticing the length of her skirt and the location of the raisin bread, he has a brilliant idea. "I'd like some raisin bread, please," the man says politely. The female clerk nods and climbs up a ladder to reach the raisin bread located on the very top shelf. Another young man standing almost directly beneath her is provided an excellent view, too. Once she descends the ladder, he muses that he really should get two loaves because he is having company for dinner. As the shapely clerk retrieves the second loaf of bread, one of the other male customers notices what was going on. Thinking quickly, he requests his own loaf of raisin bread so he can continue to enjoy the view. With each trip up the ladder, the young lady seems to catch the eye of another male customer. Pretty soon, each male customer is asking for raisin bread just to see the clerk climb up and down. After many trips, she is tired, irritated, and thinking she is going to have to try the bread herself. Finally, once again atop the ladder, she stops and fumes, glaring at the men standing below. She notices an elderly man standing amongst the crowd, staring up at her. Thinking to save herself a trip, she yells at the elderly man, "Is it raisin for you, too? "No," stammers the old man, "but it's a quiverin'."

funniness: 8.42

rating: PG-13

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Deema G.

Finally, the search is over.

funniness: 8.13

rating: G

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Moe R.

funniness: 9.27

rating: G

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Alexandra C.

funniness: 8.35

rating: PG

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Moe R.

funniness: 8.14

rating: G

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Moe R.

funniness: 9.14

rating: PG

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Moe R.

funniness: 9.85

rating: PG-13

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