Funny.com. Work in progress... In the meantime, here are 10 random funny stuff for you:

Angela D.

At a private school for girls their arose a behavior issue that the principal was struggling with. It seems that the girls would go to the restroom and apply their makeup during the day. This, however was not the problem. The problem occurred when these girls, with their freshly applied lipstick, would press their lips to the mirror to leave their luscious lip prints on the mirror. Every day the janitor would have to clean the lipstick smeared mirrors. Even after the principle's threats of punishment the girls still managed to graffiti the mirrors with their painted lips. Finally the principal and the janitor came up with the solution. The principal brought the girls to the bathroom and explained to them that if they were going to continue to "kiss" the mirrors with their freshly painted lips then they should at least see how much work it was for the janitor to clean them. The janitor took his squigie wand, dipped it into the toilet and scrubbed the mirror with the toilet water. After squiging the mirror clean he turned to see the pale stricken faces of all the girls...who never "kissed" the mirrors again.

funniness: 8.36

rating: PG

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keta j.

TEACHER : Maria, go to the map and find North America. MARIA : Here it is! TEACHER : Correct. Now class, who discovered America? CLASS : Maria! ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ __ TEACHER : Why are you late, Frank? FRANK : Because of the sign. TEACHER : What sign? FRANK : The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow." ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ __ TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor? JOHN : You told me to do it without using tables! ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ __ TEACHER : Glenn, how do you spell "crocodile?" GLENN : K-R-O-K-O-D- A-I-L" TEACHER : No, that's wrong GLENN : Maybe it s wrong, but you asked me how I spell it! ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ __ TEACHER : Donald, what is the chemical formula for water? DONALD : H I J K L M N O!! TEACHER : What are you talking about? DONALD : Yesterday you said it's H to O! ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ __ TEACHER : Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago. WINNIE : Me! ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ __ TEACHER : Goss, why do you always get so dirty? GOSS : Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are. ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ __ TEACHER : Millie, give me a sentence starting with "I." MILLIE : I is... TEACHER : No, Millie..... Always say, "I am." MILLIE : All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet." ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ __ TEACHER : Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE? TINO: Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day, same time." ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ __ TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?" LOUIS : Because George still had the ax in his hand. ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ __ TEACHER : Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating? SIMON : No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook. ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ __ TEACHER : Clyde, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his? CLYDE : No, teacher, it's the same dog!; ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _ TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested? HAROLD : A teacher.

funniness: 8.53

rating: G

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Moe R.

funniness: 8.61

rating: PG-13

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zach w.

funniness: 9.43

rating: PG-13

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Kim L.

This has got to be one of the most clever E-mails I've received in Awhile. Someone out there either has too much Spare time or is deadly at Scrabble. (Wait till you see the last one)! DORMITORY: When you rearrange the letters: DIRTY ROOM PRESBYTERIAN: When you rearrange the letters: BEST IN PRAYER ASTRONOMER: When you rearrange the letters: MOON STARER DESPERATION: When you rearrange the letters: A ROPE ENDS IT THE EYES: When you rearrange the letters: THEY SEE GEORGE BUSH: When you rearrange the letters: HE BUGS GORE THE MORSE CODE : When you rearrange the letters: HERE COME DOTS SLOT MACHINES: When you rearrange the letters: CASH LOST IN ME ANIMOSITY: When you rearrange the letters: IS NO AMITY ELECTION RESULTS: When you rearrange the letters: LIES - LET'S RECOUNT SNOOZE ALARMS: When you rearrange the letters: ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S A DECIMAL POINT: When you rearrange the letters: I'M A DOT IN PLACE THE EARTHQUAKES: When you rearrange the letters: THAT QUEER SHAKE ELEVEN PLUS TWO: When you rearrange the letters: TWELVE PLUS ONE AND FOR THE GRAND FINALE: MOTHER-IN-LAW: When you rearrange the letters: WOMAN HITLER Yep! Someone with waaaaaaaaaaay Too much time on their hands! (Probably a son-in-law). Bet your friends haven't seen this one!!! DON'T FORGET TO SHARE THIS

funniness: 8.31

rating: PG

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Kim L.

To al the Parents and Grandparents out there !!!! THE TEA PARTY When I was a toddler, someone had given me a little Tea Set as a gift, and it was one of my favorite toys. Daddy was in the living room engrossed in the evening news when I brought him a little cup of "tea" which was just water, of course. After several cups of tea and lots of praise for such yummy tea, my Mom came home. My Dad made her wait in the living room to watch his little Princess bring him a cup of tea, because it was, "Just the cutest thing!" My Mom waited, and sure enough, here I come down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy. She watches him drink it up and then says, "Did it ever occur to you that the only place that a toddler can reach to get water is the toilet?" THE END (I hear you laughing!)

funniness: 8.43

rating: G

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Vasiliy O.

funniness: 9.56

rating: PG-13

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Julie J.

funniness: 9.26

rating: G

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Moe R.

funniness: 8.29

rating: PG

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Zuzu K.

So you think that your life sucks?That it's the most boring piece of vile shit that has ever existed?I scoff at you. Let me tell you about a day in my life Every day i wake up, and i tell my self "I'm ready". I wake up and i always fool myself with false hopes. i get ready and i leave the house at the most ungodly hours of the morning, to get to work early, where i kiss my boss's ass in the hopes of getting a promotion. Every fucking morning i say hello cheerfully to my 2 neighbors , so that they think I'm all sunshine and happiness. God they are the biggest idiots on the surface of the planet. You know those people who think that they are artsy and cool, so they look down on other people all the time?That's one of my neighbors. The other one is - and i shit you not - the hugest dumbass that has ever existed. The guy practically lives under a rock. As i head to work - walking, I may add, I never got a license because my stupid teacher won't let me pass my test - i say hello to this really hot chick that i know I'll never have the smallest chance i my life of fucking. But Damn, she's hot. She's got this tight little ass that turns me on like nobody's business (She's a martial artist, and i ask her for lessons in the hopes of getting some) , a cute little southern accent that makes me want to fuck her brains out. Anyway i get to work which is a fucking crusty-ass little fast-food place, where I'm the cook. My boss is incredibly greedy, practically a Jew, and treats me like a piece of shit. He has a daughter who's an idiot too. You know those chicks who are fucking whales, but think that they're the shit? Yeah that's her. so i stay at work hopelessly daydreaming about being someone important in the world. I cook very good, so the place gets filled up most of the time, but i get paid a minimum wage by my boss, when I'm the one that practically gets the customers to come here. My artsy neighbor works here too, he's the cashier, but he's a total dumbass, so i only talk to him to piss him off. I go home after work, tired and dejected at the utter uselessness of my life, but smiling nonetheless at anybody who looks my way, to make them think I'm happy. I never Have any dates, obviously, so when i get home, I pretty much just go to sit down on the couch with my pet snail Gary, and watch TV wile eating a motherfucking krabby patty.

funniness: 8.62

rating: PG-13

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