Funny.com. Work in progress... In the meantime, here are 10 random funny stuff for you:

Moe R.

Top 6 Smartass Answers SMARTASS ANSWER #6 It was mealtime during a flight on Hooters Airline. "Would you like dinner?" the flight attendant asked John, seated in front. "What are my choices?" John asked. "Yes or no," she replied. SMARTASS ANSWER #5 A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat, she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket not your stub." SMARTASS ANSWER #4 A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store but she couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?" The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead." SMARTASS ANSWER #3 The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said. The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could." When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket. SMARTASS ANSWER #2 A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads, " Low Bridge Ahead." Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?" The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas." SMARTASS ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2006 A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!" A smart-ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?" The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence is restored, the teacher smiles knowingly at the student, shakes her head and sweetly says, "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."

funniness: 8.58

rating: PG

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Lauren B.

Bob and Joe were out golfing one day. At the hole in front of them there were two women who were moving slowly and taking a very long time. Bob told Joe to go tell the ladies to hurry up. Joe started to walk over to the women, but then quickly turned around and walked back. "I can't go over there," said Joe. "Well, why not?" asked Bob "Well, one of those women is my wife and the other is my mistress," replied Joe. "Fine, I'll go" and Bob walked towards the women. Bob returned with a very weird look on his face, "small world."

funniness: 8.19

rating: PG

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rick c.

A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer. His friend says: ?Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man.? The man then replies: ?Yeah, well we were married 35 years.? When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300 C. The Russians used a pencil. A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: ?That?s the ugliest baby that I?ve ever seen. Ugh!? The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: ?The driver just insulted me!? The man says: ?You go right up there and tell him off ? go ahead, I?ll hold your monkey for you.? A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn?t seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: ?My friend is dead! What can I do?? The operator, in a calm, soothing voice, says: ?Just take it easy. I can help. First, let?s make sure he?s dead.? There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The guy?s voice comes back on the line. He says: ?Okay, now what??

make sure u see 3 funny blond jokes too

funniness: 8.39

rating: PG

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Moe R.

funniness: 8.36

rating: PG

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Moe R.

Sunday morning at 11 In a hospital?s Intensive Care Unit, patients were dying in the same bed every Sunday morning at 11a.m, regardless of their medical condition. This puzzled the doctors and some even thought that it had something to do with the supernatural. No one could solve the mystery as to why the deaths took place at 11 AM. So a world-wide expert team was contaced and they decided to go down to the ward to investigate the cause of the incidents. On the next Sunday morning a few minutes before 11 a.m. all doctors and nurses nervously waited outside the ward to see for themselves what the terrible phenomenon was all about. Some were holding wooden crosses, prayer books and other holy objects to ward off evil. Just then the clock struck 11? And then?? Santa Singh, the part-time Sunday sweeper, entered the ward, unplugged the life support system and plugged in the vacuum cleaner.

funniness: 8.37

rating: G

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Eric P.

funniness: 8.10

rating: PG-13

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Moe R.

funniness: 9.51

rating: G

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Moe R.

funniness: 8.63

rating: PG-13

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Moe R.

funniness: 9.99

rating: PG

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Zuzu K.

SmiLeY

funniness: 9.69

rating: R

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