Funny.com. Work in progress... In the meantime, here are 10 random funny stuff for you:

Ashley S.

I went to the store the other day, and I was in there for only about 5 minutes. When I came out there was a motorcycle cop writing a parking ticket. So I went up to him and said, 'Come on, buddy, how about giving a guy a break?' He ignored me and continued writing the ticket. So I called him a pencil-necked Nazi. He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having worn tyres! So I called him a piece of horse shit. He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket! This went on for about 20 minutes. The more I abused him, the more tickets he wrote. I didn't care. My car was parked around the corner. I try to have a little fun each day. It's important.

funniness: 9.41

rating: PG

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jenny m.

A redneck family from the hills of West Virginia was visiting the city. They were in a mall for the first time in their lives. The father and son were strolling around while the wife shopped. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again. They boy asked, ?Paw, what?s at?? The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, ?Son, I dunno, I ain?t never seen anything like that in my entire life, I got no idea what it is.? While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a fat old lady in a wheelchair rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the small circular numbers above the walls light up sequentially. They continued to watch until it reached the last number. After the numbers began to light in the reverse order, the walls opened up again and a gorgeous voluptuous 24 year-old blond woman stepped out. The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietly to his son ?Boy.........go git cha momma?

funniness: 8.33

rating: PG

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Yamir A.

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sad but true

rofl i agree completely

funniness: 9.03

rating: PG

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Moe R.

funniness: 8.18

rating: PG-13

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Chris f.

A big earthquake with a strength of 8.1 on the Richter scale hit Mexico. Two million Mexicans have died and over a million were injured. The country is totally ruined and the government doesn't know where to start and is asking for help to rebuild. The rest of the world is in shock. Canada is sending troops to help the Mexican Army control the riots. Saudi Arabia is sending oil. Other Latin American countries are sending supplies. The European community {except France} is sending food and money. The United States, not to be outdone, is sending two million Mexicans to replace the dead ones. God bless America!!!!

funniness: 8.49

rating: PG

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pvlk k.

funniness: 8.07

rating: G

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Moe R.

The Duck Hunter A duck hunter was out enjoying a nice morning on the marsh when he decided to take a leak.... He walked over to a tree and propped up his gun. Just then a gust of wind blew, the gun fell over, and discharged... shooting him in the genitals. Several hours later, lying in a hospital bed, he was approached by his doctor. 'Well sir, I have some good news and some bad news. The good news is that you are going to be OK. The damage was local to your groin, there was very little internal damage, and we were able to remove all of the buckshot.' 'What's the bad news?' asked the hunter. 'The bad news is that there was some pretty extensive buckshot damage done to your penis. I'm going to have to refer you to my sister.' 'Oh, well I guess that isn't too bad,' the hunter replied. 'Is your sister a plastic surgeon?' 'Not exactly.' answered the doctor. 'She's a flute player in the local symphony and she's going to teach you where to put your fingers so you don't piss in your eye.'

funniness: 8.94

rating: PG-13

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Moe R.

A word to the wise. For all those who are retired and those who hope to retire. I suggest that you pay close attention to Jims? tale. ADVICE FROM A RETIRED HUSBAND: It is important for men to remember that, as women grow older, it becomes harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as when they were younger. When you notice this, try not to yell at them. Some are overly sensitive, and there?s nothing worse than an oversensitive woman. My name is Jim. Let me relate how I handled the situation with my wife, Terri. When I retired a few years ago, it became necessary for Terri to get a full-time job along with her part-time job, both for extra income and for the health benefits that we needed. Shortly after she started working, I noticed she was beginning to show her age. I usually get home from the golf club about the same time she gets home from work. Although she knows how hungry I am, she almost always says she has to rest for half an hour or so before she starts dinner. I don?t yell at her. Instead, I tell her to take her time and just wake me when she gets dinner on the table. I generally have lunch in the Men?s Grill at the club so eating out is not reasonable. I?m ready for some home-cooked grub when I hit that door. She used to do the dishes as soon as we finished eating. But now it?s not unusual for them to sit on the table for several hours after dinner. I do what I can by diplomatically reminding her several times each evening that they won?t clean themselves. I know she really appreciates this, as it does seem to motivate her to get them done before she goes to bed. Another symptom of aging is complaining, I think. For example, she will say that it is difficult for her to find time to pay the monthly bills during her lunch hour. But, boys, we take `em for better or worse, so I just smile an do offer encouragement. I tell her to stretch it out over two or even three days. That way she won?t have to rush so much. I also remind her that missing lunch completely now and then wouldn?t hurt her any (if you know what I mean). I like to think tact is one of my strong points. When doing simple jobs, she seems to think she needs more rest periods. She had to take a break when she was only half-finished mowing the lawn. I try not to make a scene. I?m a fair man. I tell her to fix herself a nice, big, cold glass of freshly squeezed lemonade and just sit for a while. And, as long as she is making one for herself, she may as well make one for me, too. I know that I probably look like a saint in the way I support Terri. I?m not saying that showing this much consideration is easy. Many men will find it difficult. Some will find it impossible! Nobody knows better than I do how frustrating women get as they get older. However, guys, even if you just use a little more tact and less criticism of your aging wife because of this article, I will consider that writing it was well worthwhile. After all, we are put on this earth to help each other. Signed, Jim EDITOR?S NOTE: Jim died suddenly on February 7 of a perforated rectum. The police report says he was found with a Calloway extra-long 50-inch Big Bertha Driver II golf club jammed up his rear end, with barely 5 inches of grip showing, and a sledge hammer laying nearby. His wife Terri was arrested and charged with murder. < The all-women jury took only 10 minutes to find her Not Guilty, accepting her defense that Jim, somehow without looking, accidentally sat down on his golf club.

funniness: 8.37

rating: PG

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Moe R.

Bad Ass Phelps!

funniness: 9.58

rating: PG-13

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nick B.

funniness: 8.46

rating: PG-13

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