Stan S.

Try these next time you go to an airport! (These are in chronological order) DISCLAIMER: I cannot be held responsible for any prosicutions, deaths or any other serious or personal injuries. 1. When parking your car, park directly outside the front doors, or in the taxi bay. 2. Stop in the rotatating doors. 3. Get lost in the rotating doors. 4. Attempt to board a plane in the "Arrivals" area. 5. When going to check in, ask if they know where the toilet is, and run off, leaving all your belongings behind. 6. Ask where all the baggage goes, and attempt to get on the machine. 7. Turn around his/her computer screen, point at it and shout "Yeah, that one!" 8. When giving anyone your passport, take it back and say "Oh, wait, thats my fake one..." 9. Suspiciosly leave your luggage next to signs that say "Any uny unattended luggange will be be removed and may be destroyed." 10. Casually walk into a restricted area, showing your passport as identification. 11. Put everything you can't put into your bag, into your bag, just before x-raying it. 12. Get stopped at the security point, and when they search you, scream and shout "Ahh! Pervert!" And slap them. 13. Or wait till they get to your waist and say "Hey! My guns in there!" 14. Run form end to end of the airport screaming "BOMB!!" 15. When walking past a security officer, whisper to them "I've got a bomb" and run off. 16. Steal the cars they put on show. 17. Walk back to the check-in desk and say "I'm back!!" 18. When on the plane repeatedly press the service button. 19. When the air hostess does the demonstration, shout "Boo! Get off the stage! Where did that good looking one go?" 20. Lock yourself in the toilet for the whole flight. 21. Order all the food on the trolley. 22. When getting off the plane, walk over to the other side where they unload the luggage, and say "No, I want to get my one!" 23. Sit on the baggege collection machine. 24. Take someone elses luggage right infront of them. 25. Take all the luggage. 26. Occasianly, open your bag and whisper "Soon, Saddam, soon." 27. When leaving the airport, pretend to be the person that they hold up on the boards. 28. Hold up a board with a joke name. 29. Try to get back on the plane again. 30. Order a taxi, then drive home.

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