Funny.com. Work in progress... In the meantime, here are 10 random funny stuff for you:

Virginia M.

A little Mexican boy goes into the kitchen where his mom is baking. He puts his hand in the flour and then wipes it all over his face. "Mamacita, look, I'm a white boy." His mom slaps his face and says, "Go show your father." He goes to his dad in the living room and says, "Look Papacita, I'm a white boy." His dad slaps him hard in the face and says, "Go show your grandmother." The boy goes in his grandmother's room and says, "Mira, Abuelita, I'm a white boy." His grandmother slaps him in the face and sends him back > to his mother. His mother says, "What did you learn from that?" The boy replies, "I have only been white for five minutes and already I don't like you damn Mexicans."

funniness: 8.25

rating: PG

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Toni W.

There was a man that owned a giant gorilla and, all its life, he'd never left it on its own. But eventually he had to go on a business trip and had to leave his gorilla in the care of his next-door neighbor. So he explained to his neighbor that all he had to do was feed his gorilla three bananas a day at three, six and nine o'clock. But he was never ever, ever to touch its fur. So the next day the man came and gave the gorilla a banana and looked at it for a while thinking, ?Why can't I touch its fur?? as their didnt seem to be anything wrong with it. Every day he came in and looked for a little while longer as he still couldnt understand until, about a week later, he'd worked himself into a frenzy and decided that he was going to touch the gorilla. He passed it the banana and very gently brushed the back of his hand against its fur. Suddenly the gorilla went ape shit and started to jump around, then it turned and began to running towards the man who, in turn, ran through the front door, over the lawn, across the street, into some one else's sports car and drove off. In the rear-view mirror, he could see the gorilla in its own sports car, driving right behing him. He drove for two hours until the engine began to splutter and the car just stopped. He jumped out and began to run down the street, over a brick wall, into someone's front garden and up the apple tree. He turned around to find the gorilla right behind him beating its chest. The man jumped down and ran back in to the street screaming, until it became dark and he thought he'd lost the gorilla. The man ran into an alleyway then, suddenly, he saw a giant shaddow coming down the street ahead. The gorilla! It came to the end of the alley, stood and looked striaght into the bloodshoot eyes of the man and came towards him slowly. This time there was no escape. As the gorilla neared him, the man began to feel faint. The giant beast came face to face with him, raised its mighty hand and said, ?Tag! You're it!?

funniness: 8.07

rating: G

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Paul B.

After every flight, pilots fill out a form, called a gripe sheet which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some maintenance complaints submitted by pilots and the solutions recorded by maintenance engineers. By the way, the airline these came from is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an accident. Pilot: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement. Engineers: Almost replaced left inside main tire. Pilot: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough. Engineers: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft. Pilot: Something loose in cockpit. Engineers: Something tightened in cockpit. Pilot: Dead bugs on windshield. Engineers: Live bugs on back-order. Pilot: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent. Engineers: Cannot reproduce problem on ground. Pilot: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear. Engineers: Evidence removed. Pilot: DME volume unbelievably loud. Engineers: DME volume set to more believable level. Pilot: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick. Engineers: That's what friction locks are for. Pilot: IFF inoperative in OFF mode. Engineers: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode. Pilot: Suspected crack in windshield. Engineers: Suspect you're right. Pilot: Number 3 engine missing. Engineers: Engine found on right wing after brief search. Pilot: Aircraft handles funny. Engineers: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious. Pilot: Target radar hums. Engineers: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics. Pilot: Mouse in cockpit. Engineers: Cat installed. Pilot: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer. Engineers: Took hammer away from midget

funniness: 8.84

rating: G

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josh r.

One day a college professor was greeting his new college class. He stood up in front of the class and asked if anyone in the class was a moron, and if they were, they should stand. After a minute a young man stood up. The professor then asked the kid if he actually thought he was a moron. The kid replied, "No, I just didn't want to see you standing there all by yourself."

funniness: 8.52

rating: G

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Darcy W.

She has a gift

funniness: 9.34

rating: PG-13

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ashley l.

funniness: 8.63

rating: PG

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Moe R.

funniness: 8.03

rating: PG-13

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Moe R.

funniness: 8.93

rating: PG

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Jessica W.

funniness: 8.69

rating: G

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Moe R.

LIVING WILL Last night my sister and I were sitting in the den and I said to her, 'I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle to keep me alive. That would be no quality of life at all... if that ever happens, just pull the plug.' So she got up, unplugged the computer, and threw out my wine. She's such a bitch

funniness: 8.20

rating: PG-13

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