Funny.com. Work in progress... In the meantime, here are 10 random funny stuff for you:

Moe R.

The following short quiz consists of 4 questions and will tell you whether you are qualified to be a professional. Scroll down for each answer. The questions are NOT that difficult. But don't scroll down UNTIL you have answered the question! # 1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator? The correct answer is: Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and close the door. This question tests whether you tend to do simple things in an overly complicated way. # 2. How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator? Did you say, Open the refrigerator, put in the elephant, and close the refrigerator? Wrong Answer. Correct Answer: Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door. This tests your ability to think through the repercussions of your previous actions. # 3. The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All the animals attend... except one. Which animal does not attend? Correct Answer: The Elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator. You just put him in there. This tests your memory. Okay, even if you did not answer the first three questions correctly, you still have one more chance to show your true abilities. # 4. There is a river you must cross but it is used by crocodiles, and you do not have a boat. How do you manage it? Correct Answer: You jump into the river and swim across. Have you not been listening? All the crocodiles are attending the Animal Meeting. This tests whether you learn quickly from your mistakes. According to Anderson Consulting Worldwide, around 90% of the professionals they tested got all questions wrong, but many preschoolers got several correct answers. Anderson Consulting says this conclusively disproves the theory that most professionals have the brains of a four-year-old.

funniness: 8.50

rating: G

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Roy T.

One day Jesus and Moses were playing a round of Golf at the Heavenly Acres Golf Club. They approached Hole number 9, which is a 200 yard hole with a large pond between the tee box and the green. Moses stepped up first, lined up his shot, and took the safe route, landing on the fairway on the shore of the pond, well to the right of the hole. Jesus stepped up, and said "You know, Tiger woods won the Masters on this same hole at Augusta, and he got it in in two strokes- by using his nine iron to go straight for the green... if Tiger Woods can do it, I can do it." So Jesus pulled out his nine iron, hit it and of course the ball plopped straight into the pond. Moses chuckled, then split the pond in half, so Jesus could walk down and get the ball. Jesus returned the ball to the drop spot, and still weilding his nine iron said "If Tiger Woods can do it, so can I." Predictably, the ball ended up in the pond again. "Jesus, you're on your own with this one." So Jesus began to walk across the pond to retrieve his ball. With all this going on, another pair of golfers had caught up with them, and now were waiting for Jesus and Moses to finish up on the hole. Upon seeing Jesus walking on the pond, one of the men said "Who does he think he is, Jesus Christ?" Moses turned to him and said, "No, Tiger Woods."

funniness: 8.26

rating: PG

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stacy w.

The below questions are from a 10 year old kid who drove a Harvard Professor nuts! Can you cry under water? How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered? If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches? Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round? Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to? Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity? Why does a round pizza come in a square box? What disease did cured ham actually have? How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage? Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake uplike every two hours? If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing? If you drink Pepsi at work in the Coke factory, will they fire you? Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV? Why do people pay to go up tall buildings & then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground? How come we choose from just two people for President and fifty for Miss America? Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway. If a 911 operator has a heart attack, whom does he/she call? Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural? Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out!" Or watch a white thing come out a chicken rear and think, "that ought to taste good" Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat? Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer? When your photo is taken for your driver's license, why do they tell you to smile? If you are stopped by the police and asked for your license, are you going to be smiling? If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him? Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane? If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut,why can't he fix a hole in a boat? Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is? Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs! What do you call male ballerinas? Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream? If Wyle E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner? If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables,what is baby oil made from? If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons? Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse? Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune? Why did you just try singing the two songs above? Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt? Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride; he sticks his head out the window? How do flies get stuck in lights? There closed up.

funniness: 8.35

rating: G

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Moe R.

funniness: 8.38

rating: R

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Deema G.

funniness: 8.27

rating: PG

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Moe R.

A cruise on the Pacific goes all wrong, the ship sinks, and there are only three survivors; Bob, Tom and Debbie. They manage to swim to a small island and they live there for a couple of years doing what's natural for men and women to do. After several years of casual sex, all the time, Debbie began to feel absolutely horrible about what she was doing. She felt having sex with both Bob and Tom was so immoral and bad that she killed herself. It was tragic, but Bob and Tom managed to get through it. After a while, Bob and Tom's resistance to nature's urgings waned, and the inevitable happened. Well, a couple more years went by and Bob and Tom began to feel debased and humiliated about what they were doing. So they buried Debbie. But after ANOTHER couple of months had passed, they were so disgusted at what they were doing NOW..... That they dug her up again.

funniness: 8.36

rating: R

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bart30 a.

funniness: 8.88

rating: R

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Moe R.

funniness: 8.53

rating: PG

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Moe R.

I'd hit that

funniness: 8.00

rating: PG

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Matt L.

funniness: 9.16

rating: PG

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