Funny.com. Work in progress... In the meantime, here are 10 random funny stuff for you:

Brent S.

The Pentagon recently found it had too many generals and offered an early retirement bonus. They promised any general who retired straight away his full annual benefits plus $10,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any two parts of the general's body, with the general getting to select any pair of points he wished. The first man, an Air Force general, accepted. He asked the pension man to measure from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. Six feet. He walked out with a check of $720,000. The second man, an Army general, asked them to measure from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. Eight feet. He walked out with a check for $960,000. When the third general, a grizzled old Marine, was asked where to measure, he told the pension man ... "From the tip of my penis to the bottom of my testicles." The pension man suggested that perhaps the Marine general might like to reconsider, pointing out the nice checks the previous two generals had received. The Marine insisted and the pension expert said that would be fine, but that he'd better get the medical officer to do the measuring. The medical officer attended and asked the general to drop the pants. He did. The medical officer placed the tape on the tip of the general's penis and began to work back. "My God!" he said. "Where are your testicles?" The general replied, "In Vietnam."

funniness: 8.40

rating: PG-13

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Moe R.

Contempt of Court A man was forced to take a day off from work to appear for a minor traffic summons. He grew increasingly restless as he waited hour after endless hour for his case to be heard. When his name was called, late in the afternoon, he stood before the judge, only to hear that court would be adjourned for the rest of the afternoon and he would have to return the next day. ?What for?? he snapped at the judge. His honor, equally irked by a tedious day and sharp query, roared, ?Twenty dollars contempt of court. That?s why!? Then, noticing the man checking his wallet, the judge relented. ?That?s all right. You don?t have to pay now.? The young man replied, ?I?m just seeing if I have enough for two more words.?

funniness: 8.11

rating: PG

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Moe R.

funniness: 9.88

rating: PG-13

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ashley l.

funniness: 8.00

rating: PG-13

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Moe R.

Every once in a while, in life... You run into a genius with a true talent!

funniness: 8.67

rating: PG

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Jay88 M.

PS for the dumb: its stone

funniness: 8.07

rating: G

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Samantha A.

chat rooms are dangerous an fat

funniness: 8.70

rating: PG-13

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Vasiliy O.

funniness: 8.41

rating: PG-13

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Moe R.

The Queen's Breasts Once upon a time lived a beautiful Queen with large breasts. Nick the Dragon Slayer obsessed over the Queen for this reason. He knew that the penalty for his desire would be death should he try to touch them, but he had to try. One day Nick revealed his secret desire to his colleague, Horatio the Physician, the King's chief doctor.. Horatio thought about this and said that he could arrange for Nick to more than satisfy his desire, but it would cost him 1000 gold coins to arrange it. Without pause Nick readily agreed to the scheme. The next day, Horatio made a batch of itching powder and poured a little bit into the Queen's bra while she bathed. Soon after she dressed, the itching commenced and grew intense. Upon being summoned to the Royal Chambers to address this incident, Horatio informed the King and Queen that only a special saliva, if applied for four hours, would cure this type of itch, and that tests had shown that only the saliva of Nick would work as the antidote to cure the itch. The King, eager to help his Queen, quickly summoned Nick to their chambers.. Horatio then slipped Nick the antidote for the itching powder, which he put into his mouth, and for the next four hours, Nick worked passionately on the Queen's large and magnificent breasts. The Queen's itching was eventually relieved, and Nick left satisfied and hailed as a hero. Upon returning to his chamber, Nick found Horatio demanding his payment of 1000 gold coins. With his obsession now satisfied, Nick couldn't have cared less knowing that Horatio could never report this matter to the King and with a laugh told him to get lost. The next day, Horatio slipped a massive dose of the same itching powder into the King's underwear. The King immediately summoned Nick. The moral of the story - Pay your bloody bills !!!

funniness: 9.60

rating: R

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Klanes L.

funniness: 9.70

rating: PG

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