Funny.com. Work in progress... In the meantime, here are 10 random funny stuff for you:

shy g.

Snow in Goa A lady goes on vacation alone to Jamaica, wishing her husband had been able to join her. Upon arriving, she meets a black man, and after a night of passionate lovemaking she asks him, "What is your name?" "I can't tell you!" the black man says. Every night they meet and every night she asks him again what his name is and he always responds the same, he cannot tell her. On her last night there she asks again, "Can you please tell me your name?" "I can't because you will make fun of me!" the black man says. "There is no reason for me to laugh at you," the lady says. "Fine, my name is Snow" the black man replies. And the lady bursts into laughter, and the black man gets mad and says,.. "I knew you would make fun of it." The lady replied, "Its my husband that won't believe me when I tell him that I had... 8 inches of Snow every day in Jamaica."

funniness: 8.09

rating: PG-13

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Moe R.

Only the Irish have Jokes Like These Into a Belfast pub comes Paddy Murphy, looking like he'd just been run over by a train. His arm is in a sling, his nose is broken, his face is cut and bruised and he's walking with a limp " What happened to you?" asks Sean, the bartender. " Jamie O'Conner and me had a fight," says Paddy. "That little shit, O'Conner," says Sean, "He couldn't do that to you, he must have had something in his hand." " That he did," says Paddy, "a shovel is what he had, and a terrible lickin' he gave me with it." "Well," says Sean, "you should have defended yourself, didn't you have something in your hand?" That I did," said Paddy. "Mrs. O'Conner's breast, and a thing of beauty it was, but useless in a fight." An Irishman who had a little too much to drink is driving home from the city one night and, of course, his car is weaving violently all over the road. A cop pulls him over. " So," says the cop to the driver, where have ya been?" "Why, I've been to the pub of course," slurs the drunk. " Well," says the cop, "it looks like you've had quite a few to drink this evening." "I did all right," the drunk says with a smile. "Did you know," says t he cop, standing straight and folding his arms across his chest, "that a few intersections back, your wife fell out of your car?" "Oh, thank heavens," sighs the drunk. "For a minute there, I thought I'd gone deaf." Brenda O'Malley is home making dinner, as usual, when Tim Finnegan arrives at her door. "Brenda, may I come in?" he asks. "I've somethin' to tell ya". "Of course you can come in, you're always welcome, Tim. But where's my husband?" " That's what I'm here to be telling ya, Brenda." There was an accident down at the Guinness brewery..." "O h, God no!" cries Brenda. "Please don't tell me." "I must, Brenda. Your husband Shamus is dead and gone. I'm sorry. Finally, she looked up at Tim. "How did it happen, Tim?" " It was terrible, Brenda. He fell into a vat of Guinness Stout and drowned." " Oh my dear Jesus! But you must tell me truth, Tim. Did he at least go quickly?" "Well, Brenda... no. In fact, he got out three times to pee." Mary Clancy goes up to Father O'Grady after his Sunday morning service, and she's i n tears. He says, "So what's bothering you, Mary my dear?" She says, "Oh, Father, I've got terrible news. My husband passed away last night." The priest says, "Oh, Mary, that's terrible. Tell me, Mary, did he have any last requests?" She says, "That he did, Father." The priest says, "What did he ask, Mary? " She says, He said, 'Please Mary, put down that damn gun...' AND THE BEST FOR L AST A drunk staggers into a Catholic Church, enters a confessional booth, sits down, but says nothing. The Priest coughs a few times to get his attention but the drunk continues to sit there. Finally, the Priest pounds three times on the wall. The drunk mumbles, "ain't no use knockin, there's no paper on this side either!"

funniness: 8.39

rating: PG

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Moe R.

A Mexican maid asked for a pay increase. The wife was very upset about this and asked: 'Now Maria, why do you want a pay increase?' Maria: 'Well Se?ora, there are three reasons why I want an increase. The first is that I iron better than you.' Wife: 'Who said you iron better than me?' Maria: 'Your husband said so.' Wife: 'Oh.' Maria: 'The second reason is that I am a better cook than you.' Wife: 'Nonsense, who said you were a better cook than me?' Maria: 'Your husband did.' Wife: 'Oh.' Maria: 'My third reason is that I am a better lover than you.' Wife (really furious now): 'Did my husband say that as well?' Maria: 'No Se?ora, the gardener did.' SHE GOT THE RAISE _________________________________________________________________

funniness: 8.48

rating: PG-13

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Moe R.

funniness: 8.65

rating: G

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Moe R.

funniness: 8.18

rating: PG

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Alexandra C.

funniness: 8.65

rating: PG-13

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Moe R.

funniness: 8.50

rating: R

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Paul Z.

funniness: 8.58

rating: PG

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Winthorp D.

Another safe looking working condition :P

funniness: 8.26

rating: G

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Hogan S.

I love toast, english muffins, bagels...particularly with peanut butter, and honey if it's there and the bees are in heat. But that's an aside. So I'm making toast this morning, while multitasking of course (feeding the cat, gathering s**t for work, etc). I hadn't made toast at the house in a while, so I pull the toaster from atop the fridge, plug it in and remove my bread. Now is the moment, the key decision. The toaster setting. You know how they have that knob that dictates "how toasted" you want your toast? This particular toaster has the cute little knob that indicates level of toastedness with the far left, low setting indicated by a tiny "icon" shaped like a piece of toast, and it's simply white or clear. The opposite of course is the alternative, black toast "icon". I like my toast a wee bit crispy, so I creep up towards the black toast, albeit a hair below. I press my bread down into the toaster and go about my business. Minutes later, my toast pops up, burnt to a f***ing crisp! Not even on the highest setting!! What in the worst g***amn design is going on here?! Why does a setting even EXIST on toasters that burns bread to a F***ING useless, charred version of its former self?! Bread is bread, bagels are bagels, muffins are muffins. They will all be destroyed at this setting, and there are no humans on the planet that enjoy eating buttered ashes. Every f***ing toaster I've ever seen is set up this way...tempting those of us in a hurry to make this error, ruin their breakfast and set the day in motion with an epic fail. Is there a setting on a jacuzzi, that if you turn the knob too high, will slowly boil you to f***ing death?!?! NO! Is there a setting on your furnace that will send searing hot air through the vents that will melt your F***ING face off?!?! NO!! I want to stand toe to toe, face to face with the oblivious retards in charge at Cuisinart, Kitchenaid...whoever the f***ing people are that make key decisions about toasters and DEMAND they answer to the countless slices of bread ruined, breakfast hopes demolished and days begun in utter disappointment. They have to answer to us all, and deserve at the very least a stern "F*** YOU!!!"

funniness: 8.29

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