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Little Johnny had homework to find the first five letters of the alphabet. He asked,"Mommy, whats the first letter of the alphabet?" Just then she cut herself with a mail opener. "Damn it!" she shouted. Little Johnny filed that away in his memory. Next he asked his dad who was working on the car. "Daddy, what's the second letter of the alphabet?" "Fuck!" his dad shouted as he banged his head on the car. Johnny remembered that too. Next he asked his sister. "Sissy, what is the third letter of the alphabet?" She was on the phone and was hearing about her boyfriend cheating on her. "Shit he doesn't love me!" she screamed. Then Johnny went to his brother. "Tommy what's the fourth letter of the alphabet?" His brother was fighting with his friend and said,"You asshole!" Again, Johnny shrugged and toke note of that. Late that night he remembered that was only the first four letters. He decided to ask his bus driver. "Jim, what is the fifth letter in the alphabet?" Just as Jim was about to answer, a car cut him off. "Bastard!" he shouted. Johnny shrugged and went to class, eager to share the answers to the homework. "Yes Johnny?" the teacher called on him. "Damn, Fuck, Shit, Asshole and Bastard." Johnny said proudly. The teacher screamed and had a heart attack. He went to get the principal and told him exactly what happened. The principal fainted.

funniness: 2.67

rating: PG-13