Funny.com. Work in progress... In the meantime, here are 10 random funny stuff for you:

A R.

A lady goes in to take a tennis lesson, and the instructor notices she is using the wrong grip. After several failed attempts to correct her, he finally says "OK, just grip it like you do your husband's member". After that, she immediately rips a couple of top spin winners down the line. The instructor says, "Wow that's great. Now just try taking the racquet out of your mouth."

funniness: 8.21

rating: PG

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Joe N.

An Arab was walking through the Sahara desert, desperate for water, when he saw something far off in the distance. Hoping to find water, he walked towards the image, only to find a little old Jewish man sitting at a card table with a bunch of neckties laid out on it. The Arab asked ?Please, I?m dying of thirst, can I have some water?? The man replied ?I don?t have any water, but why don?t you buy a tie? Here?s one that goes nicely with your robes.? The Arab shouted, ?I don?t want a tie, you idiot, I need water!? ?OK, don?t buy a tie. But to show you what a nice guy I am, I?ll tell you that over that hill there, about 4 miles, is a nice restaurant. Walk that way, they?ll give you all the water you want.? The Arab thanked him and walked away towards the hill and eventually disappeared. Three hours later the Arab came crawling back to where the man was sitting behind his card table. He said ?I told you, about 4 miles over that hill. Couldn?t you find it?? The Arab rasped ?I found it all right. They wouldn?t let me in without a tie.?

funniness: 8.27

rating: G

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Moe R.

Every once in a while, in life... You run into a genius with a true talent!

funniness: 8.67

rating: PG

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Joe N.

Things Girl's Don't Know Guys are more emotional then you think, if they loved you at one point, it'll take them a lot longer then you think to let you go, and it hurts every second that they try. (trust me on this one) 2. Guys may be flirting around all day but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about. (even the pimps) 3. Guys go crazy over a girl's smile. =] 4. Guys will do anything just to get you to notice him. (yeah, and it's usually something stupid ) 5. Guys hate it when you talk about your ex-boyfriend or ex love-interest. Unless they're goin for the let-her-complain-to-you-and-then-have-her-realize-how-wonderful-and-nice-you-are method. (oh yes! what guy has not tried this one?) 6. A guy who likes you wants to be the only guy you talk to. (yeah, so stop calling 300 guys a day) 7. Boyfriends need to be reassured often that they're still loved. (yeah so stop calling 300 guys a day) 8. Guys don't care how gorgeous you are, if you're a bitch-- Goodbye. (yeah so stop calling 300 guys a day and work on your personality) 9. Giving a guy a hanging message like "You know what?!..uh...nevermind.." would make him jump to a conclusion that is far from what you are thinking. And he'll assume he did something wrong and he'll obsess about it trying to figure it out. ( i can't really add anything to this one) 10. Girls are guys' weaknesses. (i wonder if it's the other way around too?) 11. Guys are very open about themselves (and if their not about something they have a damn good reason) 12. If a guy tells you about his problems, he just needs someone to listen to him more than anything else. (Advice is appreciated though =] 13. A usual act that proves that the guy likes you is when he teases you. (yep, it goes back to that kindergarden kid that was poking the girl he liked with a stick, all the other guy's saw and thought "wow that's a damn good idea!" 14. Guys love you more than you love them. ( yessir) 15. Guys use words like hot or cute to describe girls. We rarely use beautiful or gorgeous. If a guy uses that, he loves you or likes you a whole hell of a lot. ( this is true) 16. No matter how much guys talk about asses and boobs, personality is key. (nice asses or boobs sure help though, don't get me wrong!) 17. Guys worry about the thin line between being compassionate and being whipped. (yeah, if your not compassionate, your insensitive, but if your too compassionate your gay....) 18. Guys think WAY too much. One small thing a girl does, even if she doesn't notice it can make the guy think about it for hours, trying to figure out what it meant. (we really do, beleive it or not) 19. If the guy does something stupid in front of the girl, he will think about it for the next couple days or until the next time he spends time with the girl. (and what guy hasn't done something stupid?) 20. If a guy looks unusually calm and laid back, he's probably faking it and is spazzing inside. (this is always true ) 21. When a guy says he is going crazy about the girl, he really is. Guys rarely say that. (so we mean it when we say it) 22. When a guy asks you to leave him alone, he's just actually saying, "Please come and listen to me." (it's pretty much the only thing we say that means something else, so know it.) 23. If a guy starts to talk seriously, listen to him. It doesn't happen that often, so when it does, you know something's up. (yeah dude, seriously!) 24. When a guy tells you that you are beautiful, don't say you aren't. It makes them want to stop telling you because they don't want you to disagree with them. (yeah, it's really annoying when you compliment a girl on her looks and then end up arguing with her!) 25. When a guy looks at you for longer than a second, he's definitely thinking something. (unless were just spacing out. so check to see if were blinking) 26. A guy has more problems than you can see with your naked eyes. (so get a telescope) 27. Don't be a snob. Guys can be intimidated and give up easily. (oh yes.) 28. Guys talk about girls more than girls talk about guys. (it's actually true!) 29. Guys really think that girls are strange and have unpredictable decisions and are MAD confusing but somehow are drawn even more to them. (it's very strange) 30. A guy would give his right nut to be able to read a girl's mind for a day. (no way! well maybe leftly, but not mr. right!...okay yes mr. right...) 31. No guy can handle all his problems on his own. He's just too stubborn to admit it. (yeah, so remember, if we seem overwellmed and we don't ask for help, offer it. we'll accept it) 32. Not all guys are assholes. Just because ONE is a jackass doesnt mean he represents ALL of them...just most. good guys' are a dieing breed. (i blame the damn hippies) 33. Guy's love it when girls talk about their boobs. (haha oh yes) 34. When a guy hits your butt it means that he wants you sexually (yeah so avoid guys who do that, they almost always turn out to be Assholes) 35. Even if they refuse it all guys are ticklish on the ribs. (this is actually true! i didn't think i was but i tested it! so we don't admit it or even crack a smile we just grab your arms and pull them away...lol) 36. Guys love neck rubs and if he lets you keep doing it ..it means that he really likes you or his neck really hurts. (so true, especially after a rough day..) 37. When a guy sacrifices his sleep and health just to be with you, he really likes you and wants to be with you as much as possible. ( remember this one ) 38. Even if you dump a guy months ago and he loved you he probaly still does and if he had one wish it would be you to come back into his life. (this is very true. takes us guys a long time to get over you girls. can you blame us? your awesome!)

funniness: 8.38

rating: PG

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Moe R.

funniness: 8.03

rating: G

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Moe R.

funniness: 9.85

rating: PG

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Moe R.

funniness: 8.43

rating: PG

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bart30 a.

funniness: 9.18

rating: R

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Moe R.

An old prospector?? An old prospector shuffled into town leading an old tired mule. The old man headed straight for the only saloon in town to clear his parched throat. He walked up to the saloon and tied his old mule to the hitch rail. As he stood there brushing some of the dust from his face and clothes, a young gunslinger stepped out of the saloon with a gun in one hand and a bottle of whiskey in the other. The young gunslinger looked at the old man and laughed, saying, 'Hey old man, have you ever danced?' The old man looked up at the gunslinger and said, 'No, I never did dance, -- and just never wanted to.' A crowd had gathered quickly and the gunslinger grinned and said, 'Well, you old fool, you're gonna' dance now,' and started shooting at the old man's feet. The old prospector in order to not get a toe blown off or his boots perforated was soon hopping around like a flea on a hot skillet and everybody was laughing fit to be tied. When the last bullet had been fired the young gunslinger, still laughing, holstered his gun and turned around to go back into the saloon. The old man turned to his pack mule, pulled out a double barreled shotgun, and cocked both hammers back. The loud, audible double clicks carried clearly through the desert air. The crowd stopped laughing immediately. The young gunslinger heard the sounds, too, and he turned around very slowly. The quiet was almost deafening. The crowd watched as the young gunman stared at the old timer and the large gaping holes of those twin barrels. He found it hard to swallow.. The barrels of the shotgun never wavered in the old man's hands. The old man said, 'Son, did you ever kiss a mule's ass?' The boy bully swallowed hard and said, 'No. But I've always wanted to.' There are two lessons for us all here: 1. Don't waste ammunition. 2. Don't mess with old people

funniness: 9.55

rating: PG

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giancarlo h.

funniness: 8.14

rating: G

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