Funny.com. Work in progress... In the meantime, here are 10 random funny stuff for you:

stacy w.

The below questions are from a 10 year old kid who drove a Harvard Professor nuts! Can you cry under water? How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered? If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches? Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round? Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to? Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity? Why does a round pizza come in a square box? What disease did cured ham actually have? How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage? Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake uplike every two hours? If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing? If you drink Pepsi at work in the Coke factory, will they fire you? Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV? Why do people pay to go up tall buildings & then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground? How come we choose from just two people for President and fifty for Miss America? Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway. If a 911 operator has a heart attack, whom does he/she call? Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural? Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out!" Or watch a white thing come out a chicken rear and think, "that ought to taste good" Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat? Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer? When your photo is taken for your driver's license, why do they tell you to smile? If you are stopped by the police and asked for your license, are you going to be smiling? If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him? Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane? If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut,why can't he fix a hole in a boat? Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is? Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs! What do you call male ballerinas? Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream? If Wyle E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner? If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables,what is baby oil made from? If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons? Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse? Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune? Why did you just try singing the two songs above? Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt? Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride; he sticks his head out the window? How do flies get stuck in lights? There closed up.

funniness: 8.35

rating: G

Permalink...

F W.

funniness: 8.84

rating: G

Permalink...

josh r.

One day a college professor was greeting his new college class. He stood up in front of the class and asked if anyone in the class was a moron, and if they were, they should stand. After a minute a young man stood up. The professor then asked the kid if he actually thought he was a moron. The kid replied, "No, I just didn't want to see you standing there all by yourself."

funniness: 8.52

rating: G

Permalink...

Jordy C.

funniness: 9.15

rating: G

Permalink...

Moe R.

The Ole Folks Home ... An Indian family was considering putting their Mooshum (grandfather) in a nursing home. All the First Nation facilities were completely full so they had to put him in an Italian home. After a few weeks in the Italian facility, they came to visit Mooshum. 'How do you like it here?' asks the Grandson. 'It's wonderful. Everyone here is so courteous and respectful.' says Mooshum. 'We're so happy for you. We were worried that this was the wrong place for you. You know, since you are a little different from everyone.' 'Oh, No. Let me tell you about how wonderfully they treat the residents.' Mooshum says with a big smile. 'There's a musician here, he's 85 years old. He hasn't played the violin in 20 years and everyone still calls him 'Maestro'.' 'There is a judge in here, he's 95 years old. He hasn't been on the bench in 30 years and everyone still calls him 'Your Honor'.' 'There's a dentist here, 90 years old. He hasn't fixed a tooth for 25 years and everyone still calls him 'Doctor'.' 'And me, I haven't had sex for 35 years and they still call me 'The Fucking Indian'.'

funniness: 8.36

rating: PG-13

Permalink...

Savannah E.

Believe it or not, this thing actually made some money.

funniness: 8.44

rating: PG

Permalink...

lochard d.

funniness: 8.25

rating: PG

Permalink...

anthony s.

I am writing to say what an excellent product you have! I've used it all of my married life, as my Mom always told me it was the best. Now that I am in my fifties I find it even better! In fact, about a month ago, I spilled some red wine on my new white blouse. My inconsiderate and uncaring husband started to belittle me about how clumsy I was and generally started becoming a pain in the neck. One thing led to another and somehow I ended up with his blood on my new white blouse! I grabbed my bottle of Tide with bleach alternative, and to my surprise and satisfaction,all of the stains came out! In fact, the stains came out so well the detectives who came by yesterday told me that the DNA tests on my blouse were negative and then my attorney called and said that I was no longer considered a suspect in disappearance of my husband. What a relief! Going through menopause is bad enough without being a murder suspect! I thank you, once again, for having a great product Well, gotta go, have to write to the Hefty bag people.

funniness: 9.09

rating: PG

Permalink...

cathy m.

funniness: 8.36

rating: PG

Permalink...

pvlk k.

definitely good for scaring traffic away

funniness: 9.86

rating: PG

Permalink...