Ward N.

If the Government is going to put health warnings on beer, wine and liquor, let's at least have a little truthfulness about the matter: WARNING** Consumption of alcohol may cause you to wake up with breath that could knock a buzzard off a manure truck at 100 yards. WARNING** Consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an idiot. WARNING** Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are dying for you to telephone them at 4 in the morning. WARNING** Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over again until your friends want to smash your head in. WARNING** Consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings like thish. WARNING** Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your boss what you really think, while photocopying your butt at the office Christmas party. WARNING** Consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the heck ever happen to your panties (underpants) anyway. WARNING** Consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary (whose species and/or name you can't remember). WARNING** Consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead. WARNING** Consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, more handsome, and smarter than some really, really huge biker guy named "Big Al".

funniness: 7.31

rating: PG