Scott E.

Pete goes to the doctor one day, because he couldn't digest food. The doctor did a full examination, and broke the news to him. "You are eating too many peas, and they are clogging your insides. You cannot eat them again." Pete is dismayed. "I love peas, they are my favorite food!" The doc shakes his head. "If you want to live, you will have to give them up." So Pete goes home sad, and starts eating other foods, and notices an improvement in his health. Six years later, and much healthier, Pete is at the bar, drinking with a bunch of guys he had just met. It's getting late, and everyone in the bar is pissed beyond recognition. Then one guy says, "I suppose I had better get home to the wife. We haven't had a shag for 4 years, and tonight may be the night." Another guy goes, "Yeah? Well, I haven't worked for 2 years - workers comp is great!" Another guy goes, "I haven't driven a car in 3 years, just because I never wanted to." All these memories make Pete sad, but he speaks up. "Guess what? I haven't had a pea in six years!" "Right," says the barman, "Anyone who can't swim, grab a table leg."

funniness: 6.40

rating: PG-13