Tim G.

1. Hit the stewardess button and tell her that your friend next to you is having a baby. Have your friend make all sorts of noises. (Works especially well, if your friend is a guy) 2. Take the telephone out of its holder and attempt to strangle the person sitting in front of you. 3. Hit the stewardess button as many times as possible and when she comes, blame it on your stuffed animal. Say he gets hyperactive riding on airplanes and does mischievious stuff. 4. Use the Call Button to ask the flight attendent on a date. 5. When the flight attendent comes around for drinks, request food. When they ask what meal you would like, ask for a drink. 6. When you get your meal/peanuts or whatever, dump it in the persons hair in front of you 7. Before you get on the plane go to the Sky Cap and ask them if you can deliver this bag to Chicago, this one to Detroit, and this one to Atlanta. If he says no, say, "Why not, you did it last time." 8. Have extremely loud conversations on which Olsen twin is more talented 9. If sitting next to someone you don't know attempt to stick q-tips in various parts of the body (i.e. ears, nose, don't get too excited) 10. Bring on a CD Player and the Soundtrack to Saturday Night Feaver. Dance until physically restrained. 11. Hold a Sing-A-Long. 12. Look out the window and point at stuff, claim you know that person. 13. When they serve you your food ask them what it is and tell them it dosen't look edible. (most of the time the stewerdess will agree with you) 14. Bring a live chicken on board. When you are given your food, hide it and put the chicken on trey table. Press the call button, and say your dinner needs to be cooked more. 15. Put your stuffed animal in the barf bag and say it found a new home 16. Take off your trey table, and hand it to the person in front of you. 17. If you are sitting at least 2 seats away from the aisle, get up every 5 minutes to go to the bathroom. If questioned say. I think the gum is getting to me. 18. Pull down the oxygen masks and place all three on your head at once. 19. Bring 2 Lobsters on the Plane. Paint Numbers on the back, and race them down the aisle. See how many people you can get to bet on this race. Have a board stating odds. 20. Bring a sock puppet on board, and communicate with everyone with it. (please note, this works better with people older then 4) If someone questions the words of the sock explain to them that they have affended the sock king and will be attacked by a giant ball of lint. 21. Clip your toe nails 22. Play with the lights for about an hour. If someone asks say your making strobe lights. 23. Select captains and play a game of tackle football in the aisle. 24. Two Words: Strip Poker 25. Bring on board Spam and a hot plate. Cook the spam and offer it to other passengers. 26. When the lady comes and asks you for a drink say "Vodka Martini shaken not stired" and when she says your not old enough shout and scream and pound your tray until you make such a racket that she gives in. 27. Play a game of Hungry Hungry Hippos 28. Attempt to get on the PA and start a game of Simon Says 29. Demand that you get both the arm rests and shove the persons arm off. 30. Every few minutes press the call button and ask the steward/stewardess "Are we there yet?" 31. When you first get on, take the empty seat next to you and pretend your invisible friend is there. When someone trys to sit there scream and fuss and say they can't sit on Joe. 32. When the pilot comes over the PA system cower in fear and scream, "It's those voices again!" 33. When you notice someone getting up to go to the bathroom, immidiately jump out of your seat, run down the aisle, push the person out of the way and bolt into the bathroom, stay in the bathroom for at least 1/2 an hour. 34. When the flight attendent gives you there drink list ask them for drinks not on the list, keep this up for at least 10 minutes. 35. If you_re on a plane that is showing a movie, find the VCR, and put in a porn movie, this works particularly well when you know the first movie would be one that younger children would like. 36. Bring a trombone on board, while playing it, attempt to hit as many people as possible with the slide of the trombone, then yell at them for getting in your way. 37. Using a fishing rod attempt to catch other people's dinner off their trey table. 38. When sitting in first class ask for a big meal. Leave the meal alone, and just eat the napkin, when the flight attendent comes back to check on you, say the forgot your napkin. When they come back with a new napkin, eat that one as well, keep this up for the remainder of the flight, making sure not to eat any of the food that they gave you. 39. When traveling through clouds, open an umbrella. When experiencing Turbulence scream "Earthquake!" Then run into the cock pit and hide.

funniness: 6.29

rating: PG