William P.

(For any of you who haven't seen a used 'pad', it looks somewhat like a jelly roll since they wrap it into a roll with the blood all in it.) There is a 16-year-old woman named Susan who lives in a little rural town. She lives in a large farm-sized house, and her room alone has 3 seperate closets. She has a very nasty habit--Susan likes to keep her used pads, and she has those three closets full of them. One day when her father is working the night shift (her mother died a few years ago) she invites a boy to and the house, and later, to her room. Just as they are getting all hot and heavy, she hears her father pull up in his truck. "Oh shit! Um.... Hide in there!" she says as she points to the first of the three closets. The boy runs in just as her father walks in the house. He comes upstairs, walks in her room, tucks her in, kisses her goodnight, and leaves downstairs. He never finds the boy. The next night, her father has to work the night shift again. So she decides to try again, with a different boy. Once again, in the middle of sex she hears her father pull up. "Damn it! Go in there!" and she points to the second of the three closets. Her father agains walks in to kiss her and tuck her in, and then leaves downstairs, never seeing the boy. And, once again, her father works the night shift. She figures she'll try it one more time (You'd think she'd know by now ;) and invites another boy over. Once again it happens in the middle of their sex. "Jesus Christ!! Damn it, go in there and hide!" pointing at the third of three closets. Again the father comes to kiss her, goes downstairs and never notices the boy. For about two weeks, the father works the day shift, so she can't invite anyone over (in some rural areas, they don't like sex during the day). Then finally, her father works the night shift. She is determined to have sex tonight. So she invites the first guy she sees over to her house. And, amazingly, they are able to finish what they're doing. As they are getting dressed, she remembers that she never told the other boys that they could come out! She runs to the first closet, and sees the boy buried in a huge pile of pads. She opens the second closet, and this guy has taken about ten of the pads apart, and tied them together, forming a noose. He had hung himself with the pads! When she opens the third closet, all she sees is the boy, sitting in a totally empty closet. "How did the others die, but you managed to stay alive?" she asked, thinking she sounded somewhat like a killer. The boy replied, "I would be goner too miss, if it weren't for them delicious jelly rolls!"

funniness: 6.38

rating: R