Alex F.

A huge panda bear steps into this classy restaurant. The maitre is both astonished and amused; nonetheless, he is a man who takes pride on doing his job right and sends a waiter its way. The panda asks for some of the best dishes of the house: filet mignon, lobster, duck a l'orange, soup a l'onion gratinee, the whole nine yards. Then, as it finishes, it steps up and turns to leave without paying for the gargantuan fest. "Sir, exactly where do you think you are going?" Asks the upset maitre. The panda turns around, not completely sure he understands. "The meals you were served are still to be paid for." "Paid for?" Sneers the panda. "I belong to an endangered species; you should take this a service to nature and biodiversity." "This is a restaurant. RESTAURANT! We feed you and you pay for it. That is the way it works. Look it up in a dictionary if you want to!" To his surprise, the panda brings up a dictionary from between his skin folds and reads, "Restaurant: a business establishment where meals or refreshments may be bought. Hmmm. But even if you're right," the panda says as it brings up a .357 Smith & Wesson and shoots the maitre on his leg an runs away, "I'm a panda. Look it up in the dictionary if you want to!" Later on, at the hospital, the injured maitre remembers what the panda said and asks for a dictionary to look for the word "panda." It read: "Panda: a large black-and-white mammal of chiefly central China now usually classified with the bears. Eats shoots and leaves."

funniness: 7.35

rating: PG