Steph W.

- Your twin sister forgets your birthday - Your birthday cake collapses from the weight of the candles. - You call the suicide prevention hotline, and they put you on hold. - You have to sit down to brush your teeth in the morning. - Your income tax refund check bounces. - It costs more to fill up your car than it did to buy it. - The bird singing outside your window is a vulture. - You wake up and your braces are stuck together. - You put both contacts into the same eye. - Your mother approves of the person you're dating. - Your doctor tells you that you're allergic to chocolate. - You have to borrow from you Visa card to pay your Mastercard. - Nothing you own is actually paid for. - Everyone loves your driver's license picture, but you think it looks awful. - The health inspector condemns your office coffee maker. - People think you're 40 and you're only 25. - When your doctor tells you that you are in fine health--for someone twice your age. - You call your spouse and tell them that you'd like to eat out tonight, and when you get home, you find a sandwich on your front porch. - You open your briefcase for the big meeting, and find nothing in it but your 5-year-old's coloring pages. - You are actually looking forward to sitting down and enjoying the junk e-mail sent to you. - You look in the car you just locked, and notice the keys hanging. - Your secretary tells you that a film crew from some show named 60 minutes is waiting in your office. -The first clothes you pull out of the wash load with your new red blouse have a strangely pink hue. - You call your voice mail for messages, and they're from your doctor, your mechanic, and the IRS.

funniness: 5.93

rating: PG