Q. What do women and dog shit both have in common? A. The older they get, the easier they are to pick up.
Q: Why do men fart more than women? A: Because women can't keep their mouth shut long enough to build up the pressure.
Q. What is it when a man talks nasty to a woman? A. Sexual harassment.
Q. What is it when a woman talks nasty to a man? A. $3.99 a minute.
Q. What did God say after Eve took her first bath in the lake? A. Oh shit! Now I'll never get that smell off the fish.
Q. Why did the woman cross the road? A. The man told her to.
Q. Why did she come back? A. The man snapped his fingers.
Q. What was the strange thing about all of this? A. She should never have been out of the kitchen.
Q. How many women does it take to screw in a light bulb? A. Two, one to screw in the bulb and one to blow me.
Q. How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb??? A. None, make the woman do it!
Q. What do all spouses of wife-beaters have in common? A. They never listen.
Q. What is the definition of "making love"? A. Something a woman does while a guy is fucking her.
Q. What do you do if your dishwasher stops working? A. Slap her!
Q. How do you fix a woman's watch? A. You don't...there's a clock on the oven!
Q. What's the best thing about a blowjob? A. Ten minutes of silence.
Q. What has 18 legs and 2 tits? A. The supreme court.
Q. What do women and pantyhose have in common? A. They either cling, run or don't fit right in the crotch.
Q. What's the most common cause of hearing loss amongst men? A. Wife saying she wants to talk to him.
Q. How do you make 5 pounds of fat look good? A. Put a nipple on it.
Q. Why do men like blowjobs? A. It's the only time they get something into a woman's head straight.
Q. How do you change a woman's mind? A. Buy her another beer.
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