7 Reasons Not To Mess With A Child

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Reason 1 A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible. The little girl said, “When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah.” The teacher asked, ” What if Jonah went to hell?” The little girl replied, “Then you ask him”.

Reason 2 A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child’s work. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was. The girl replied, “I’m drawing God.” The teacher paused and said, “But no one knows what God looks like.” Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, “They will in a minute.”

Reason 3 A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year old After explaining the commandment to “honor” thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, “Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?” Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, “Thou shall not kill.”

Reason 4 One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head. She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, “Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?” Her mother replied, “Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white.” The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, “Momma, how come ALL of grandma’s hairs are white?”

Reason 5 The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. “Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, ‘There’s Jennifer, she’s a lawyer,’ or ‘That’s Michael, he’s a doctor.’ A small voice at the back of the room rang out,”And there’s the teacher, she’s dead. ”

Reason 6 A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, “Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face..” “Yes,” the class said. “Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn’t run into my feet?” A little fellow shouted, “Cause your feet ain’t empty.”

Reason 7 The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: “Take only ONE. God is watching.” Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, “Take all you want - God is watching the apples.

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submitted: 1+ years ago

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categories: word fun (puns, riddles) work, school

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showing 1 - 28 of 28 discussions       sort by: newest

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by Lexi J. 1+ years ago

Also, is this post about a Catholic school? Cuz everyone reson says something bout God or someone that was alive while God was.

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by Lexi J. 1+ years ago

The title is SO true. LOL

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by cathy c. 1+ years ago
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by cathy c. 1+ years ago
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by cathy c. 1+ years ago
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by mariam m. 1+ years ago

i luv this! i sent it to all of my friends and family!! Naveed S. should really get kicked off funny.com nobody cares about your stupid kanjartube!!!!

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by funny 6. 1+ years ago

i LOVE#7

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by lewis w. 1+ years ago

lol loved the first one.that teacher got OWNED!:D

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by David P. 1+ years ago

I liked 7 the best ! 10/10!!!

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by Cynthia S. 1+ years ago

Omg!!! It is just so freakin funny!!! My sibs would do the same...

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by Yuki H. 1+ years ago

Gota love them...

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by Giselle D. 1+ years ago

2 4 & 7 r my faveorites :)

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by Dirson Eduardo J. 1+ years ago

Number 2, implies that people will know how gods looks like when she is done, since she is drawing it. Number 6, the kid knows that the teachers head is empty (no brain, nor anything like that) while her feets must have something in it.

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by Felicia D. 1+ years ago

i dont get number two or number 6

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by Jackie O. 1+ years ago

Reason 2 is creepy as shit!

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by Sarah F. 1+ years ago

:) I liked the last one best

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by chris e. 1+ years ago

liked 1,4,7 best...awesome

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by Naveed S. 1+ years ago

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by Naveed S. 1+ years ago

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by Naveed S. 1+ years ago

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by Naveed S. 1+ years ago

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by Naveed S. 1+ years ago

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by Jack A. 1+ years ago

I didn't get number 6.

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by Little R. 1+ years ago

1, 3, 4, 7 funny as

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by Casey S. 1+ years ago

1,3,5,7 are the best! 10/10

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by Jack R. 1+ years ago

Man Reason seven OWNS funny, 10/10 forever!

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by Laffing H. 1+ years ago

Haha. I especially like number 4 and number 6. 10/10

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by Carla M. 1+ years ago

hahaha number three was the best: Thou shall not killed i laughed so hard :P

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