What you will need:
1.) 24- 48 Ounce Glass Jar
2.) 20-40 Ounces of Lotion
PREFACE: For this prank to work, unfortunately, or fortunately depending on how you look at it, you have to have found a woman who wants to have sex with you. Preferrably this is a one night stand, but it also works with a girlfriend or wife. You’ll also need to use a condom, which you should be anyway, you dirty bastard.
SET UP: Take the empty jar and fill it three quarters full with the body lotion. Seal the jar and place it underneath your bed.
EXECUTION: After having sex, nonchalantly roll off your partner and remain laying beside them for a couple moments. Perhaps tell them how much you enjoyed it, or make other small talk. “What do you think about this election?” or “Have you ever been to Applebee’s? There’s a few things I think you’d like on the menu there.” Anything that makes you seem totally at ease.
After a few moments, sit up and continue your conversation as you reach under your bed and pull out the jar of lotion which you hid earlier. Bring the jar onto the bed and set it on the night stand next to you. Do not call attention to it, continue your conversation. If she asks what it is, say “oh, just a jar,” and continue talking about whatever you were previously discussing. Then open the jar, and set the lid down. Remove the condom from your penis, being careful not to spill any of its contents. Carry it over to your jar and with your forefinger and thumb, squeeze what’s inside of it, into the jar that’s already 3/4ths full of lotion/what looks to be your semen. Then seal the jar and place it back under your bed and turn to her and say “Sorry, I’m a collector.”
Then let hilarity ensue!