The Blonde Mortician

mark as unread

A man who just died is delivered to a local mortuary wearing an expensive, expertly tailored black suit. The female blonde mortician asks the deceased's wife how she would like the body dressed. She points out that the man does look good in the black suit he is already wearing.

The widow, however, says that she always thought her husband looked his best in blue, and that she wants him in a blue suit. She gives the blonde mortician a blank check and says, 'I don't care what it costs, but please have my husband in a blue suit for the viewing.'

The woman returns the next day for the wake. To her delight, she finds her husband dressed in a gorgeous blue suit with a subtle chalk stripe; the suit fits him perfectly.

She says to the mortician, 'Whatever this cost, I'm very satisfied. You did an excellent job and I'm very grateful. How much did you spend?' To her astonishment, the blonde mortician presents her with the blank check. 'There's no charge,' she says. 'No, really, I must compensate you for the cost of that exquisite blue suit!' she says.

'Honestly, ma'am,' the blonde says, 'it cost nothing. You see, a deceased gentleman of about your husband's size was brought in shortly after you left yesterday, and he was wearing an attractive blue suit. I asked his wife if she minded him going to his grave wearing a black suit instead, and she said it made no difference as long as he looked nice.'

'So I just switched the heads.'

Rate

How funny is this joke, video, picture?

Stats

smiley 8.4 PG

submitted: 1+ years ago

viewed: 50,066 times

categories: blondes health

close

Permalink

Permalink:

close

Save to List

Loading...

Personal Lists

Create New Personal List

List Name:

Allow Others to View/Subscribe:

save cancel

saving...

Community Lists

Create New Community List

List Name:

save cancel

saving...

joke

User Comments Add Comment

showing 1 - 19 of 19 discussions       sort by: newest

+3 thumb down thumb up
by Lance B. 1+ years ago

That was a shocker, I didn't even laugh till nearly a minute later. Wow just...wow.

Reply to Lance B.'s comment
0 thumb down thumb up
by rachel s. 1+ years ago

wow

Reply to rachel s.'s comment
0 thumb down thumb up
by Nein B. 1+ years ago

... wow

Reply to Nein B.'s comment
+1 thumb down thumb up
by david h. 1+ years ago

really didn't see that coming. lol

Reply to david h.'s comment
+2 thumb down thumb up
by Kristen C. 1+ years ago

i would be SOOOOOOOOOOO pissed

Reply to Kristen C.'s comment
+1 thumb down thumb up
by V. O. 1+ years ago

but wait..there's a TWIST!!!!

Reply to V. O.'s comment
[below viewing threshold, show comment] -5 thumb down thumb up
by Angela N. 1+ years ago

repeat ive seen this loads of times

Reply to Angela N.'s comment
0 thumb down thumb up
by Kay Jay J. 1+ years ago

not bad

Reply to Kay Jay J.'s comment
+2 thumb down thumb up
by Britt K. 1+ years ago

Holy crow! Wasn't seein' that one.+

Reply to Britt K.'s comment
+2 thumb down thumb up
by Ron G. 1+ years ago

Poor Blondes cop it all the time. I didn't expect that finish!

Reply to Ron G.'s comment
+3 thumb down thumb up
by Jasmine S. 1+ years ago

OMG!!! i didnt expect that ending!!!!

Reply to Jasmine S.'s comment
[below viewing threshold, show comment] -3 thumb down thumb up
by Jawad J. 1+ years ago

I didnt expect the ending but if she accually change heads woudnt the lady notice her husbands head different? or stiches or something?

Show 1 replies to this comment

[below viewing threshold, show comment] -4 thumb down thumb up
by Tabitha W. 1+ years ago

I really want to know what the widdow's reaction/reply to that was, you should extend the joke a little more.

Show 2 replies to this comment

+2 thumb down thumb up
by Destiny Ann d. 1+ years ago

lol love it

Reply to Destiny Ann d.'s comment
+2 thumb down thumb up
by Yue T. 1+ years ago

wow very funny lol =D

Reply to Yue T.'s comment
+2 thumb down thumb up
by Roisin O. 1+ years ago

I gave it 9 coz its kinda yock!!! Haa!!!!!!!! x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

Reply to Roisin O.'s comment
0 thumb down thumb up
by Brittany P. 1+ years ago

i'll give it a 6

Reply to Brittany P.'s comment
+3 thumb down thumb up
by Angelique G. 1+ years ago

Didn't see the last sentence coming....

Reply to Angelique G.'s comment
[below viewing threshold, show comment] -1 thumb down thumb up
by Amer A. 1+ years ago

I'm sorry but I think I saw this before somewhere else.

Show 1 replies to this comment

CIPZY_The Blonde Mortician

Advertise | About Us | Terms of Use | Privacy Policy | Copyright Agent | Parents' Guide | Contact Funny.com

hkPwOaUyZb09ci4X4Dqbbw
0