how beans saved xmas.
it was the day before chirstmas eve when santa got a letter saying all the reindeer would be on strike this year. santa went up to doner and asked why they wanted to be on strike. "We want to party this year with the elves and get drunk." this pissed off santa. he needed looked for another way to bring the toys to the children. When he ran into Pinto, who said that all the cows would do it this year. all santa had to do was make them fly. he tried kites (santa was a drunken idiot before the 90s. thats when rehab came to the north pole), he tried rockets, he even tried levetation. but nothing worked. finally he gave the cows beans, little did he know that the beans he gave the cows were magic. then Pinto and his buddies started to get gas and everytime they farted, then started to hoaver. so they were hitched to the slay and they farted across the sky and delivered the presents my mom saw the cow and heard santa say, "Go pinto, go black, go coco, go human, go ranch, go peanut and fart away. that christmas morning the air smelled horrible and people staied inside. thats how beans saved christmas.
Note: My family have tolded this story for years. no one seems to know how it exactly goes but it is always funny.