Funniest E-Mail Ever: Matrimonial from a Pakistani Guy

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Regardless of whether it's real or not (it probably is anyway, it's hard to make up this stuff), this is simply a riot.



I am an young uncle living only with myself in Lahore. Having seen your advertisement for marriage purposes, I decided to press myself on you and hope you will take me nicely.

I am a spoiled son from inside Punjab. I am nice and big, six foot tall and six inches long. My body is filled with hardness, as because I am working hardly. I am playing hardly also. Especially I like cricket and I am a good batter and I am a fast baller. Whenever I come running in for balling, other batters start running. Everybody is scared of my rapid balls that bounce a lot.

I am very nice man. I am always laughing loudly at everyone. I am jolly. I am gay. Especially ladies, they are saying I am nice and soft. I am always giving respect to the ladies. I am always allowing ladies to get on top. That is how nice I am. I am not having any bad habits.

I am not drinking and I am not sucking tobacco or anything else. Every morning I am going to the Jim and I am pumping like anything. Daily I am pumping and pumping. If you want you can come and see how much I am pumping the dumb bells in the Jim.

I am having a lot of money in my pants and my pants is always open for you. I am such a nice man, but still I am living with myself only. What to do? So I am taking things into my own hands everyday. That is why I am pressing myself on you, so that you will come in my house and take my things into your hand.

If you are marrying me madam, I am telling you, I will be loving you very hard every day. In fact, I will stop pumping dumb bells in the Jim. If you are not marrying me madam and not coming to me, I will press you and press you until you come. So, I am placing my head between your nicely smelling feet and looking up with lots of hope.

I am waiting very badly for your reply and I am stiff with anticipation.

Expecting soon,

Yours and only yours

Choudhary Warraich born by mother in Okara and become big in Lahore, Punjab


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Submitted By


smiley 5.6 PG13

submitted: 1+ years ago

viewed: 2,363 times

categories: ethnic, race, international men, women, relationships other





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User Comments Add Comment

showing 1 - 5 of 5 discussions       sort by: newest

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by Destiny Ann d. 1+ years ago

lol so cute that is funny shit right there now!

Reply to Destiny Ann d.'s comment
+3 thumb down thumb up
by Brett M. 1+ years ago

Obviously fake. Some of those things were such stretches someone was clearly trying hardly to reach a punchline.

Reply to Brett M.'s comment
+2 thumb down thumb up
by dr love 1+ years ago

god was just so damn funny ....but must be someones sincere request that turned out to be a completely mess....i cant stop laughing!!heheheh

Show 1 replies to this comment

0 thumb down thumb up
by Sammy G. 1+ years ago

this is a stupid joke it isnt funny

Reply to Sammy G.'s comment
+2 thumb down thumb up
by O W. 1+ years ago

it just wasn't all that funny

Reply to O W.'s comment
CIHNE_Funniest E-Mail Ever: Matrimonial from a Pakistani Guy

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