Rectum Stretcher

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While she was "flying" down the road yesterday (10 miles over the limit), a woman passed over a bridge only to find a cop with a radar gun on the other side lying in wait.

The cop pulled her over, walked up to the car, and with that classic patronizing smirk we all know and love, asked, "What's your hurry?" To which she replied, "I'm late for work." "Oh yeah," said the cop, "What do you do?" "I'm a rectum stretcher," she responded.

The cop stammered, "A what? A rectum stretcher? And just what does a rectum stretcher do?" "Well," she said, "I start by inserting one finger, then work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in. I work from side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but surely stretch, until it's about 6 feet wide."

"And just what the hell do you do with a 6 foot asshole?" he asked. "You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge..."

Traffic Ticket: $95.00 Court Costs: $45.00 The Look on Cop's Face: PRICELESS!!!!


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smiley 8.9 PG13

submitted: 1+ years ago

viewed: 19,042 times

categories: insults other





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showing 1 - 4 of 4 discussions       sort by: newest

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by Katie K. 1+ years ago

LOL! Except I'm sick of funny jokes being ruined by the "blah blah PRICELESS" line at the end... kinda like explaining the joke, which kinda takes away the humor... The joke is funny on its own! Leave the priceless crap to the credit cards!

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by jennifer a. 1+ years ago

OMGOMGOMGOMG! NARUTARD! WHAHAHAHAHAHA! Help the akatsuki take over the world!

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by Daniel K. 1+ years ago

OMG at first i didnt get it but when i reread the last part i LMAO

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by Leo B. 1+ years ago


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CI9HJ_Rectum Stretcher

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