Forest Gump goes to Heaven

mark as unread

The day finally arrived: Forest Gump dies and goes to Heaven. He is met at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter himself. The gates are closed, however, and Forest approaches the gatekeeper.

Saint Peter says, "Well, Forest, it's certainly good to see you. We have heard a lot about you. I must inform you that the place is filling up fast, and we've been administering an entrance examination for everyone. The tests are fairly short, but you need to pass before you can get into Heaven."

Forest responds, "It shore is good to be here St. Peter. I was looking forward to this. Nobody ever told me about any entrance exams. Sure hope the test ain't too hard; life was a big enough test as it was."

St. Peter goes on, "Yes, I know Forest. But the test I have for you is only three questions. Here is the first: What days of the week begin with the letter 'T'? Second, how many seconds are there in a year? Third, what is God's first name?"

Forest goes away to think the questions over. He returns the next day and goes up to St. Peter to try to answer the exam questions. St. Peter waves him up and asks, "Now that you have had a chance to think the questions over, tell me your answers."

Forest says, "Well, the first one, how many days of the week begin with the letter 'T'? Shucks, that one's easy; that'd be Today and Tomorrow!"

The saint's eyes open wide and he exclaims, "Forest! That's not what I was thinking, but...you do have a point though, and I guess I didn't specify, so I give you credit for that answer."

"How about the next one" says St. Peter, "how many seconds in a year?"

"Now that one's harder," says Forest. "But, I thunk and thunk about that, and I guess the only answer can be twelve."

Astounded, St. Peter says, "Twelve! Twelve! Forest, how in Heaven's name could you come up with twelve seconds in a year?"

Forest says, "Shucks, there gotta be twelve: January second, February second, March second ...."

"Hold it," interrupts St. Peter. "I see where you're going with it. And I guess I see your point, though that wasn't quite what I had in mind, but I'll give you credit for that one too."

"Let's go on with the next and final question," says St. Peter, "Can you tell me God's first name?"

Forest says, "Well shore, I know God's first name. Everbody probably knows it. It's Howard."

"Howard?" asks St. Peter. "What makes you think it's 'Howard'?"

Forest answers, "It's in the prayer."

"The prayer?" asks St. Peter, "Which prayer?"

"The Lord's Prayer," responds Forest: "Our Father, who art in heaven, Howard be thy name ...."

Rate

How funny is this joke, video, picture?

Submitted By

Stats

smiley 7.7 PG

submitted: 1+ years ago

viewed: 36,313 times

categories: celebrities, entertainment, people ethnic, race, international religion word fun (puns, riddles)

close

Permalink

Permalink:

close

Save to List

Loading...

Personal Lists

Create New Personal List

List Name:

Allow Others to View/Subscribe:

save cancel

saving...

Community Lists

Create New Community List

List Name:

save cancel

saving...

joke

User Comments Add Comment

showing 1 - 3 of 3 discussions       sort by: newest

+1 thumb down thumb up
by Bob B. 1+ years ago

The name "Forrest" is spelled with two r's, not one...

Reply to Bob B.'s comment
+2 thumb down thumb up
by Claire d. 1+ years ago

the last question has two answers. there howard and Andy. and he walks with me and he talks with me!

Reply to Claire d.'s comment
[below viewing threshold, show comment] -14 thumb down thumb up
by mahuya n. 1+ years ago

relly cool. Love to crack jokes and make people laugh? Now, make the world laugh at your jokes!Uploaded.TV gives you this superb opportunity to shoot your comedy video and upload it in Your video will appear on real TV, worldwide. This is the chance to spread the joy of laughter, so grab it with both hands!

Reply to mahuya n.'s comment
CFXR_Forest Gump goes to Heaven

Advertise | About Us | Terms of Use | Privacy Policy | Copyright Agent | Parents' Guide | Contact Funny.com

AQI8p8jya1cMANLCQC3ocM
0