1. Never put gasoline on a lit candle.
2. Never make fun of Osama Bin Ladin when he's in front of you.
3. Never shoot a police man.
4. Never eat foods that have expired for years.
5. Never use your dog as a chair.
6. Never use a rattlesnake as a belt.
7. Never fart in a spacesuit.
8. Never go to the president and ask to take over America.
9. Never read a Playboy magazine while wearing steel underwear.
10. Never run around naked on the streets when there's rednecks around.
AND THE MOST IMPORTANT THING NEVER TO DO IF YOUR A DUMMY:
11. Always remember the difference between Arnold Schwartzernegger's penis and a peanut. If you don't, you might end up eating something VERY, VERY nasty.
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