Safety warnings...

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On Sears hair dryer: Do not use while sleeping. [Only time to use it though!!]

On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. [So do I steal the chips...?]

On a bar of Dial soap: Directions: Use like regular soap. [How?!]

On some Swanson frozen dinners: Serving suggestions: Defrost. [Like i want to eat it frozen...or do i?]

Printed on the bottom of Tesco Tiramisu dessert: Do not turn upside down. [too late!]

On Marks and Spencer Bread Pudding: Product will be hot after heating. [Wow! Not cold?!]

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: Do not iron clothes on body. [It would be quicker though!]

On Boot's Children's Cough Medicine: Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication. [So that means us kids can't use this?]

On Nytol Sleep Aid: Warning: May cause drowsiness. [...]

On most brands of Christmas lights: For indoor or outdoor use only. [What other use is there??]

On a Japanese food processor: Not to be used for the other use. [What other use is there?...]

On Sainsbury's peanuts: Warning: Contains nuts. [I was predicting that...]

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: Instructions: open packet, eat nuts. [Great instructions...]

On a child's Superman costume: Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly. [But my mommy said i can fly!!]

On a Swedish chain saw: Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals. [I should try it with my hands....]

On a toboggan: Beware: Sledge may develop high speed under certain snow conditions. [Wow! I was expecting otherwise!]

On a knife sharpener: Caution: knives are sharp. [Hmm...really? Not dull?]

On shin pads for cyclists: Shin guards cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover. [So they're not going to cover my stomach...]

On a take away coffee cup: Caution: Hot beverages are hot. [I never knew that!]

Emergency safety procedures at a US summer camp: In case of flood, proceed uphill. In case of flash flood proceed uphill quickly. [What happens if i am reading this and all of a sudden a flash flood appears?]

In a microwave oven manual: Do not use for drying pets. [Off to the dryer!]

On the back of a pilot's seat in a Nato aircraft: Seat must be facing forward for take-off and landing. [Not back?]

On the bottom of a cola bottle: Do not open here. [What would happen?]

On a Harry Potter wizards broom: This broom does not actually fly. [Wth! The cape and now this?!]

On a box of aspirin: Do not take if allergic to aspirin.[ Why did i buy this if i was allergic?]

On a bottle of laundry detergent: Remove clothing before distributing in washing machine.[ How else?...]

On a muffin packet: Remove wrapper, open mouth, insert muffin, eat. [I should cut the muffin in pieces insted of eating it whole...]

In a kettle instruction manual: The appliance is switched on by setting the 'ON/OFF' button to the 'ON' position. [No comment.]

On a ketchup bottle: Instructions: Put on food. [Or how about opening and putting the sauce on the food insted of the bottle]

On a bottle of rum: Open bottle before drinking. [I should break this and lick it off the floor insted of opening it.]

A car park sign: Entrance only. Do not enter. [Uh...]

A sign in a street in Hong Kong: Beware of people. [Peoplezilla! :D]

Rules on a tram in Prague: Beware! To touch these wires is instant death. Anyone found doing so will be persecuted. [I get to die]

Sign on newly-renovated ramp entrance, USA: Take care: new non-slip surface. [*cough*]

On a can of air freshener: For use by trained personnel only. [Can i work there?]

On a bottle of baby lotion: Keep away from children.

On a pair of socks bought in egypt: Do not wash.

On a 500-piece jigsaw puzzle: Some assembly required.

On a can of pepper spray used for self defense: May irritate eyes.

On a Frisbee: Warning: may contain small parts.

In a car handbook: In order to get out of car, open door, get out lock doors, and then close doors.

On a packet of cashew nut pieces: Warning: This product may contain residue of nuts.

Directions for mosquito repellant: Replacing battery: replace old battery with a new one.

On a birthday card for a one year old: Not suitable for children aged under 36 months or less.

In a hotel bedroom: Please do not turn on TV except when in use.

In a lift in a Japanese hotel: Push this button in case anything happens.

On a toilet cleaning brush: Do not use orally.

On a can of Spray paint: Do not spray in your face.

On a TV remote: Not Dishwasher safe.

On a blowtorch: Not used for drying hair.

On a washing machine inn a launderette: No small children.

On a bottle of hair dye: Do not use as Ice Cream topping.

On a push along lawn mower: Not to be used as a hedge trimmer.

On a box of fireworks: Do not put in mouth.

On the packaging for a wrist watch: Warning this is not underwear! Do not attempt to put in pants.

In a dishwasher manual: Do not allow children to play in dishwasher.

On a toaster: Do not use underwater.

On a mattress: Do not attempt to swallow.


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smiley 7.3 G

submitted: 1+ years ago

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User Comments Add Comment

showing 1 - 2 of 2 discussions       sort by: newest

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by Lee W. 1+ years ago

They call us the human race, yet we've never seemed to be able to get off the starting blocks

Reply to Lee W.'s comment
0 thumb down thumb up
by Dashelle S. 1+ years ago

Omg!! You know most of these people tried and sued, which caused the warning!

Show 1 replies to this comment

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