"Well, what should I do?" asked the man.
"Hold the club gently," the pro replied, "just like you would hold your wife's breast."
Taking the advice, the man took a swing, and POW!, he hit the ball 250 yards straight up the fairway. The ecstatic man went back home to tell his wife the good news about his lesson. After hearing what had happened, the wife couldn't wait for her lesson.
The next day, the wife went for her lesson. The pro watched her swing and said, "No, no, no, you're gripping the club way too hard."
"What can I do?" asked the wife. "Hold the club gently, just like you would hold your husband's penis."
The wife listened carefully to the pro's advice, took a swing, and THUMP!, the ball skipped down the fairway about 15 feet.
"You know, that was a lot better than I expected, " the pro said. "Now, take the club out of your mouth, and hold it in your hands."