Three guys die and go to hell. Satan lines them up, tells them to drop their pants, stands before the first guy and says, "What did you father do for a living?"
The man looks confused for a second, but answers, "He, he was a butcher." So, Satan turns his back to the men, and turns back toward them holding a butcher knife. He uses the knife to chop the first man's pecker off. The man screams in agony while Satan laughs and moves in front of the second man.
"What did your father do for a living?" questions Satan, and the second man cringes as he whispers, "My father worked in a factory that made construction paper."
Satan turns his back to the men momentarily and when he returns, he is holding a long strip of construction paper, which he uses to papercut the man's pecker off. The man yelps from the horrid pain as Satan moves before the third man.
The third man is laughing his ass off, so Satan says, "What's so funny? Don't you see the pain I've caused these men? Don't you realize what's in store for you?"
The man barely squeaks between laughs, "M - My dad made lollipops! You're gonna have to suck mine off."