The Smart Test 4/5

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1) If you had to put an elephant in the freezer, how would you do it?

A: Pick it up and move it. No sweat. B: Now, that’s just stupid! Why does an elephant need to go in a freezer, that’s so dumb! C: Is this logical?! D: It wouldn’t fit inside, durrrrrr…..

2) If you had to pay someone a million dollars, how would you do it?

A: RUN!!! If you have a million bucks, why share?! B: I’d have my parents pay off my debts. C: A person so generous and learned as I would never owe such gigantic sums of money! D: How much is a million???

3) If you had to pick one animal to own, which would it be?

A: Elephant (Comes with a free freezer!) B: French Poodle C: A reliable dog D: Me wants a dinasore

4) What is the cube root of 125 multiplied by pi divided by 100 x (6 x 12)?

A: Excuse me??? Me no speakee that language. B: I care…why?! : C: EASY! 11.309724!!! D: uhh… 17?

5) Are you special?

A: Nunya Beezwax! B: My parents and I do not believe in such belittlement, and to answer your question, NO! And I do not associate with such people! C: COURSE NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!! D: My mommy says so.

6) How many friends do you have?

A: A lot! B: I see them by the dozens. C: Less then 3… D: Gooze egs

7) What job would be most interested in?

A: A Rock Star! B: A rich model…what do ya think? C: A Rocket Scientist! D: Edeetor of the Fud sekshun.

8) Which magazine are you most likely to read?

A: Disney Adventure, Totally! B: The National Inquirer C: Times D: ELL Pampletz

9) What is your favorite TV show?

A: Deal or No Deal, Duh! B: Robin and company C: Anything educational D: Kamp Lazzlo

10) What is your favorite number?

A) A Zillion B) 345,000,000 ‘Cuz that’s how much money daddy has. C) Pi (3.1415926535897932384626433… Etc.) D) Yello

11) True or False? All Boogers are yellow.

A) False! They can be green, red, brown, and clear! But, the yellow ones taste the best. B) True. My diet of fresh ground cranberry juice keeps me perfectly hydrated, and, my embroidered handkerchief is yellow, so it’s hard to tell. C) I don’t give a flying rat’s behind.

12) True or False? Belly-Button lint collections are rarely big.

A) False! I have a big one myself! It takes up a whole milk carton! B) True. I don’t know anyone fool enough to do that.

C) I don’t give a flying rat’s behind.

13) True or False? All diapers are created equal.

A) False! I once used one as a rainhat, and it leaked all over my head! At least it was clean… B) I have no idea! I don’t deal with baby objects.

C) I don’t give a flying rat’s behind.

-------------------MULT. CHOICE SELF-GRADING SYSTEM-------------

If you answered all A’s: You think Logically, you have a great sense of humor, and friends flock to you, of course, you’re not very smart, and, you’re the most immature of the bunch, but nobody’s perfect.

If you answered all B’s, you are rich, and are a leetle stuck up, but you have friends and are smarter than your all-A’s person, but you might want to be a little less of a wannabe and a schmooze.

Next, if you answered all C’s, you’re totally advanced and are way to smart for the rest of humanity. You have almost no friends except for your geek gang. You need to visit Funny.com or talk to your all-A’s person, OK!

Lastly, if you answered all D’s, you are a complete tard, no explanation needed, you have an IQ of –4, no friends, bad vocabulary skills, and enjoy doing stupid things. Now, either get smart lessons from your all-C’s person or just get away from me. Now have a nice life.

If you have a mixture of the 4, mush sentences together like so: (for 5 A’s, 2 B’s 3 C’s and 1 D) (i.e.,) You think Logically, and you have a great sense of humor. You also are a leetle stuck up, but you have friends for your geek gang. You need to visit Funny.com or have a nice life.

-------------------TRUE OR FALSE SELF-GRADING SYSTEM-------------

If you answered all A’s, you are a daring and courageous (and stupid) person. You like hands-on activities and like doing things yourself. You also don’t like rules, so you’ll get in lotsa trouble. So, good luck in the future, and if you get in any more trouble, don’t mention me.

If you answered all B’s, you are a complete wussy and are pampered to perfection. You hate to dirty your hands and you are most likely from a rich family. GO DO SOMETHING!!!!!!!!!!!

If you answered all C’s, you don’t give a flying rat’s behind. ROCK ON!!!!!!!!!!

If you have a mixture of the 3, mush sentences together like so: (for 1 A, 1 B, and 1C) You are a daring and courageous wussy and are pampered to a flying rat’s behind.

-----------------------Extra Credit!!!---------------------- It’s time to play Weakest Link!!! Who is the Weakest Link!!!!! A) The dude what got all C’s B) The unintelligent imbecile who chose all A’s C) The snobbish, arrogant fool who answered all B’s D) Me finks D in returdid

True or False? 23 is scarier than 666. A) False! The Omen is sooo scarier than the number 23. B) True. Jim Carrey’s wardrobe scared me out of my home theater. C) You can’t be serious.

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CEP7L_The Smart Test 4/5

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