Brian came home from the pub late one Friday evening stinking drunk, as he often did, and crept into bed beside his wife who was already asleep.
He gave her a kiss on the cheek and fell asleep.
When he awoke he found a strange man standing at the end of his bed, wearing a long flowing white robe.
Who the hell are you? Demanded Brian, and what are you doing in my bedroom?
The mysterious man answered This isnt your bedroom, and Im St Peter.
Brian was stunned You mean Im dead??? That cant be, I have so much to live for, I havent said goodbye to my family .youve got to send me back Straight away. St Peter replied Yes, you can be reincarnated but there is a catch.
We can only send you back as a dog or a hen. Brian was devastated, but knowing there was a farm not far from his house, he asked to be sent back as a hen. A flash of light later he was covered in feathers and clucking around pecking the ground. This isn't so bad he thought until he felt this strange feeling welling up inside him. The farmyard rooster strolled over and said So youre the new hen? How are you enjoying your first day here? Its not so bad replies Brian, but I have this strange feeling inside like Im about to explode. "Youre ovulating explained the rooster. Dont tell me youve never laid an egg before.
Never replies Brian. Well just relax and let it happen, says the rooster.
And so he did and after a few uncomfortable seconds later, an egg pops out from under his tail. An immense feeling of relief swept over him and his emotions got the better of him as he experienced motherhood for the first time. When he laid his second egg, the feeling of happiness was overwhelming and he knew that being reincarnated as a hen was the best thing that ever happened to him ever!!!
The joy kept coming and as he was just about to lay his third egg he felt an enormous smack on the back of his head and heard his wife shouting
Brian, wake up you drunken bastard, youve shit in the bed!!
I'm confused, in the originality "joke" you said that asking for votes was demeaning. Make up your mind.
LOL, that was funny, but I sort of saw that one coming.