Deep in an army training camp in the middle of bush, Captain Johnson was handing out orders to his platoon. Lieutenant Billy – to the barracks, Lieutenant Priest to the scullery, Lieutenant Barry, your mother has died.

Of course this upset the lieutenant tremendously, so a Major approached Johnson and privately asked him to be a bit more diplomatic for the next time something as unfortunate as this occurred. Johnson was confident he understood.

A couple of weeks later, notice was received that Lieutenant Arnold’s father had died. Johnson decided to use a bit more tact so after roll call, exclaimed. “Everyone who’s father is still alive take one step forward – not so fast Arnold!”