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Bad Punchlines~ “No, no, no!” said the penguin, “I suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder!” “Surprise! Surprise! That’s not my ear canal either!”

Oh no! The leak is coming from the Global Positioning Satellite System again!

“Mommy Mommy,” Little Johnny replied, “is that why the soufflé is burnt?”

“Tokyo?” Said the nun, “You fool, I said take the hoe!”

And then my dad farted and it smelled and I said to my father you farted and it smelled.

And slowly, the sheep turned to each other and glared silently.

“Whew!” said the blonde, “I thought you meant the vacuum-insulated sealable container with the heat reflective inner surface!”

“No wait, you don’t understand,” said the fat man, “Pop Tarts are a substitute for my mother’s love!”

As they opened the door they realized they were terribly mistaken. The dog was only taking a nap.

“Yeah,” said the Scottsman, “but at least I don’t have a scented hand soap named after ME!”

As she spoke he whirled the egg beater around and yelled “EGG BEATER!”

“Isotope?” He replied, “That’s no isotope!”

(children's)Book Titles that never made the sales list 1. Juggling Knives is Easy

2. Where to Find the toys in the Oven

3. Where Mommy & Daddy Hide Neat Things

4. Kick, Scream, and Cry to Get What You Want

5. "Whatcha' Doin'" the Wonderful Phrase

6. 101 Games to Play in the Road

7. The Indoor Pool is a Big Potty and the Divingboard is the Flusher

8. Homemade Fireworks using a Bathtub,a Blowdryer,and a Fork

9. POP, goes the Hamster and other fun Microwave Games

10. Arthur Gets Hunted

11. Clifford and the Big and Yellow Semi

12. Monsters Killed Grandpa

13. The hit sequel to "Elvis is your real dad" Mrs.Clause is your real Mom

14. Chicken Poop for the Kid Soul

15. All Guns Squirt Water

16. When The Garbage Truck Came to Sesame Street

17. How Fun it is to Tie a Squirrel to a Kite

18. You Can Get Sucked Down the Drain

19. How to Make Sushi with Ordinary Goldfish

20. 101 recipies to make with Dog

21. If its Storming out the Best Place to keep shelter is under a tree

22. The New Boy is Bad

23. Your Nightmares are real

24. The Time When Elmer REALLY got Bugs

25. Scooby Doo Gets Rabbis

26. The Lion, the Steak, and the Blender

27. The Little Kitten that was too Curious.....

28. The Boy who was so Stupid that his Dad put him up for Adoption

29. Mickey Mouse and the Mouse Trap

30. Chuck E. Cheese and Cheddar get a Flamethrower

31. Grampa Gets A Casket

32. Dad's New Wife Robert

33. The Magical World Inside The Abandoned Refridgerator

Unusable inventions

The water-proof towel

Solar powered flashlights

Submarine screen doors

A book on how to read

Inflatable dart boards

A dictionary glossary

Powdered water

Pedal powered wheel chairs

Water proof tea bags

Watermelon seed sorter

Reusable ice cubes

Skinless bananas

Do it yourself roadmap

Helicopter ejector seat


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