Bad Punchlines~ No, no, no! said the penguin, I suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder! Surprise! Surprise! Thats not my ear canal either!
Oh no! The leak is coming from the Global Positioning Satellite System again!
Mommy Mommy, Little Johnny replied, is that why the soufflé is burnt?
Tokyo? Said the nun, You fool, I said take the hoe!
And then my dad farted and it smelled and I said to my father you farted and it smelled.
And slowly, the sheep turned to each other and glared silently.
Whew! said the blonde, I thought you meant the vacuum-insulated sealable container with the heat reflective inner surface!
No wait, you dont understand, said the fat man, Pop Tarts are a substitute for my mothers love!
As they opened the door they realized they were terribly mistaken. The dog was only taking a nap.
Yeah, said the Scottsman, but at least I dont have a scented hand soap named after ME!
As she spoke he whirled the egg beater around and yelled EGG BEATER!
Isotope? He replied, Thats no isotope!
(children's)Book Titles that never made the sales list 1. Juggling Knives is Easy
2. Where to Find the toys in the Oven
3. Where Mommy & Daddy Hide Neat Things
4. Kick, Scream, and Cry to Get What You Want
5. "Whatcha' Doin'" the Wonderful Phrase
6. 101 Games to Play in the Road
7. The Indoor Pool is a Big Potty and the Divingboard is the Flusher
8. Homemade Fireworks using a Bathtub,a Blowdryer,and a Fork
9. POP, goes the Hamster and other fun Microwave Games
10. Arthur Gets Hunted
11. Clifford and the Big and Yellow Semi
12. Monsters Killed Grandpa
13. The hit sequel to "Elvis is your real dad" Mrs.Clause is your real Mom
14. Chicken Poop for the Kid Soul
15. All Guns Squirt Water
16. When The Garbage Truck Came to Sesame Street
17. How Fun it is to Tie a Squirrel to a Kite
18. You Can Get Sucked Down the Drain
19. How to Make Sushi with Ordinary Goldfish
20. 101 recipies to make with Dog
21. If its Storming out the Best Place to keep shelter is under a tree
22. The New Boy is Bad
23. Your Nightmares are real
24. The Time When Elmer REALLY got Bugs
25. Scooby Doo Gets Rabbis
26. The Lion, the Steak, and the Blender
27. The Little Kitten that was too Curious.....
28. The Boy who was so Stupid that his Dad put him up for Adoption
29. Mickey Mouse and the Mouse Trap
30. Chuck E. Cheese and Cheddar get a Flamethrower
31. Grampa Gets A Casket
32. Dad's New Wife Robert
33. The Magical World Inside The Abandoned Refridgerator
The water-proof towel
Solar powered flashlights
Submarine screen doors
A book on how to read
Inflatable dart boards
A dictionary glossary
Pedal powered wheel chairs
Water proof tea bags
Watermelon seed sorter
Reusable ice cubes
Do it yourself roadmap
Helicopter ejector seat