Some Funny Quotes

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1."Who ever said money can't buy happiness obviously never had any"

2. "No one is a virgin, life has screwed us all."

3. "If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?"

4. "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder."--->American Mecanic

5. "For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain."

6. "Do you have trouble making up your mind? Well, yes or no?"

7."You know the speed of light, so what's the speed of dark?"

8. " When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets."

9. "Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else."

10. "They say hard work never hurts anybody, but why take the chance."

11. "I like work. It fascinates me. I sit and look at it for hours."

12. "Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die."

13. "If the minimum wasn't acceptable it wouldn't be called the minimum. "

14."A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back when it begins to rain."

15."It's only funny until someone gets hurt, then it's halarious"

16."A day without sunshine is like, well, night."

17."You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you."

18."He's not dead... he's electroencephalographically challenged."

19."The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong."

20." Latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the world's population."

21."The things that come to those who wait, may be the things left by those who got there first."

22."Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak."

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