One day a man went to the pet store to buy a parrot. In the store there were two parrots, one with a price tag for $700 and one for only $50. The man went to the first parrot, the more expensive one, and said, "Polly want a cracker?" The bird looked at him and repeated what he'd said.
Then the man went to the other bird and said again, "Polly want a cracker?"
The parrot answered him in perfect speech. "No, I hate crackers," it told him.
The man was shocked that the bird could understand him and began a conversation with the bird. "If you're so smart, why are you only $50 if your friend is $700?" the man asked.
"Oh," the bird replied, "it's because I have no legs. It's a little embarassing but I have to wrap my penis to stay on my perch."
The man thought about it and decided that a thing like that didn't bother him. He bought the parrot, brought it home, and introduced it to his wife. Every day the man went to word and when he got home he talked to the parrot. The two became good friends.
But one day the man came home and the parrot was lying on the floor. "What happened??" the man asked.
The parrot seemed reluctant to answer but the man convinced him. "Well, after you left the garbage man came in the house," the parrot said. "And he started kissing your wife."
The man was shocked. "What happened next?!" he asked the bird.
"Well he started to take off her shirt and kiss her breasts and rub his hands under her skirt..." the parrot continued.
"Yea? Then what?!?" the man asked frantically.
The bird teared up. "I don't know," he sniffed. "I got a boner and I fell off!"