One time, a 17 year old boy fell in love with a beautiful blonde woman. They got married and on the boy's honeymoon night, he didn't know what to do since his dad and him hadn't had "The Talk." So he called his dad and asked him what to do.
His Dad responded, "OK, take all of her clothes off and get her in bed."
Boy: "OK dad."
Not even a minute later he called his dad again and said I have her in bed with her clothes off, now what?
His dad responded, "Jeez son, are your clothes off?"
"Get those dang clothes off and get in bed with her."
Five minutes later the son calls back and asks, "I got her in bed, we're both naked. Now what?"
The Dad responds, "Dammit son, stick the hardest part of your body into the place where she pees."
Five minutes later the boy calls back and says, "OK dad, I have my head in the toilet, NOW WHAT????"