Don't Mess With Mom

mark as unread

>> >>DON'T MESS WITH MOM >> >>The Childs Comments and Thoughts >> >> >> >>My son came home from school one day, >> >>with a smirk upon his face. >> >>He decided he was smart enough, >> >>to put me in my place. >> >> >> >>"Guess what I learned in Civics Two, >> >>that's taught by Mr. Wright? >> >>It's all about the laws today, >> >>The 'Children's Bill of Rights.' >> >> >> >>It says I need not clean my room, >> >>don't have to cut my hair >> >>No one can tell me what to think, >> >>or >>speak, or what to wear. >> >> >> >>I have freedom from religion, >> >>and regardless what you say, >> >>I don't have to bow my head, >> >>and I sure don't have to pray. >> >> >> >>I can wear earrings if I want, >> >>and pierce my tongue & nose. >> >>I can read & watch just what I like, >> >>get tattoos from head to toe. >> >> >> >>And if you ever spank me, >> >>I'll charge you with a crime. >> >>I'll back up all my charges, >> >>with the marks on my behind. >> >> >> >>Don't you ever touch me, >> >>my body's only for my use, >> >>not for your hugs and kisses, >> >>that's just more child abuse. >> >> >> >>Don't preach about your morals, >> >>like your Mama did to you. >> >>That's nothing more than mind control, >> >>And it's illegal >>too! >> >> >> >>Mom, I have these children's rights, >> >>so you can't influence me, >> >>or I'll call Children's Services Division, >> >>better known as C.S.D." >> >> >> >>Mom's Reply and Thoughts >> >> >> >>Of course my first instinct was >> >>to toss him out the door. >> >>But the chance to teach him a lesson >> >>made me think a little more. >> >> >> >>I mulled it over carefully, >> >>I couldn't let this go. >> >>A smile crept upon my face, >> >>he's messing with a pro. >> >> >> >>Next day I took him shopping >> >>at the local Goodwill Store.. >> >>I told him, "Pick out all you want, >> >>there's shirts & pants galore. >> >> >> >>I've called and checked with C.S.D. >> >>who said they didn't care >> >>if I bought you >>K-Mart shoes >> >>instead of those Nike Airs. >> >> >> >>I've canceled that appointment >> >>to take your driver's test. >> >>The C.S.D. is unconcerned >> >>so I'll decide what's best." >> >> >> >>I said "No time to stop and eat, >> >>or pick up stuff to munch. >> >>And tomorrow you can start to learn >> >>to make your own sack lunch. >> >> >> >>Just save the raging appetite, >> >>and wait till dinner time. >> >>We're having liver and onions, >> >>a favorite dish of mine." >> >> >> >>He asked "Can I please rent a movie, >> >>to watch on my VCR?" >> >>"Sorry, but I sold your TV, >> >>for new tires on my car. >> >> >> >>I also rented out your room, >> >>you'll take the couch instead. >> >>The C.S.D. requires >> >>just a roof over your >>head. >> >> >> >>Your clothing won't be trendy now, >> >>I'll choose what we eat. >> >>That allowance that you used to get, >> >>will buy me something neat. >> >> >> >>I'm selling off your jet ski, >> >>dirt-bike & roller blades. >> >>Check out the 'Parents Bill of Rights', >> >>It's in effect today! >> >> >> >>Hey hot shot, are you crying, >> >>Why are you on your knees? >> >>Are you asking God to help you out, >> >>instead of C.S.D..?" >> >> >> >>Send to all people that have teenagers or have already raised >> >>teenagers, >> >>or have children who will soon be teenagers or those who will be >> >>parents >> >>someday >> >>OR ANYONE WHO'D JUST GET A LAUGH .I love this One!!! >> >>from a MOM >> >>(Mean Old Mother.)

Rate

How funny is this joke, video, picture?

Stats

smiley 5.0 G

submitted: 1+ years ago

viewed: 4,373 times

categories: men, women, relationships word fun (puns, riddles)

close

Permalink

Permalink:

close

Save to List

Loading...

Personal Lists

Create New Personal List

List Name:

Allow Others to View/Subscribe:

save cancel

saving...

Community Lists

Create New Community List

List Name:

save cancel

saving...

joke

User Comments Add Comment

showing 0 - 0 of 0 discussions       sort by: newest

CBB1O_Don't Mess With Mom

Advertise | About Us | Terms of Use | Privacy Policy | Copyright Agent | Parents' Guide | Contact Funny.com

0ymBWQZsZn8oXFnVe4n4Kw
0