A pirate walked into a small pub. He only had one leg, a hook on his right hand (or where his hand used to be), and an eye patch over one of his eyes.
So, this pirate sits down and orders a pint. The barman curiosly looking at him fills the jug and passes it over.
"So, how'd it happen?" The barman asks looking at his leg.
"Arrghh, I was fighting a battle when I fell overboard. A shark took it." the pirate replies unhappily.
"So, what about the arm?"
"Arrghh, differant battle, different shark."
"Oh, ok. Well, what about the patch?" the barman nodes towards the pirates eyepatch.
"Arrghh, bird poo."
"Bird poo?" The barman asks increduously.
"Arrghh, that be right. 'Twas me first day with me hook."