1. Swing from the metal railings on the ceiling, singing, "I'm a monkey! Ooga Ooga!" If there are people with groceries, steal their bananas.
2. When someone sits down next to you, take out your cell phone and start saying ominous things like, "I found the bomb. It's on this bus." or, "I'm surrounded. Send in the artillery."
3. Go up to one of the other passengers and say, "I know all about what you've done. We've been tracking you for a long time." See if you can get them to confess anything.
4. When someone sits next to you, strike up an argument with yourself. Escalate the argument, and finally start punching yourself in the head. See how long it takes them to leave.
5. Every 5 minutes scream "WE'RE GONNA CRASH! TAKE COVER!" and hide under a seat. When the bus keeps going, peek out and whisper, "It's magic!!"
6. Stand in the middle of the aisle, stare at the little lights on the ceiling, and say, "I have seen the light, Obi-wan."
7. Keep looking at the bottom of your shoes and saying, "Ewwww, gross."
8. Lift up the seat cushions and say, "How are you doing, little guys?"
9. Save seats for imaginary friends.
10. Stand in the front of the bus and announce, "I am the knight who says... NEE!!" Say "nee" to all the passengers and ask them for shrubberies.
11. Go up to someone, poke them, say, "You're it!" and start scurrying around.
12. When someone sits next to you, poke them repeatedly, saying, "Poke!" loudly each time, and see what their reaction is.
13. When boarding the bus, ask the bus driver, "Can my pet tree come too?"
14. Wear a backpack and whine, "But mommy, I don't WANNA go to school!"
15. Eat invisible food, making obnoxious smacking noises. When the bus driver says no food allowed, hold it behind your back and whistle.
16. Ask everyone on the bus "Have you seen my (insert small furry rodent/insect/huge dangerous animal)?"
(These also work on the train)
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categories: holidays, vacations