Things Your Mother NEVER Said

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1. You're right. I'm wrong."

2. How was your date son? Did you nail her?

3. Whoa -- Get a load of the rack on that babe.

4. Look, if you can't clean out the stems and seeds properly, stay out of my stash!

5. Oh no! Not ANOTHER friggin' grandchild!

6. ...and that's when I bitch-slapped the police officer, grabbed his gun, and busted a cap in his sorry ass.

7. It's okay to say "I love you" if you just want sex. Trust me -- girls understand that.

8. I am through judging everybody and everything.

9. Not only can you go swimming after dinner, you can eat dessert in the pool also.

10. Have you ever noticed what an incredible ripoff the flower delivery industry is?


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submitted: 1+ years ago

viewed: 11,807 times

categories: men, women, relationships





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by Midian A. 1+ years ago

My mom said 1, 3, 4, and 10, and would have said 2 if I had been a guy and dating.

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