Golfer: "I've played so poorly all day; I think I'm going to go drown myself in that lake." Caddy: "I don't think you could keep your head down that long."
Golfer: "I'd move heaven and earth to be able to break 100 on this course." Caddy: "Try heaven," advised the caddie. "You've already moved most of the earth."
Golfer: "This is the worst golf course I've ever played on!" Caddy: "This isn't the golf course, sir! We left that an hour ago"
Golfer: "Well Caddy, How do you like my game?" Caddy: "Very good, Sir! But personally I prefer Golf."
Golfer: "Well, I have never played this badly before! Caddy: "I didn't realize you had played before, Sir."
Golfer: "Caddy, Do you think my game is improving?" Caddy: "Oh yes, Sir! You miss the ball much closer than you used to.
Golfer: "Please stop checking your watch all the time, caddy. It's distracting!" Caddy: "This isn't a watch, Sir, its a compass!"
Golfer: "Caddy, do you think it is a sin to play golf on Sunday?" Caddy: "The way you play, Sir, its a sin any day of the week!"
Golfer: "This golf is a funny game." Caddy: "It's not supposed to be."
Golfer: "That can't be my ball, caddie. It looks far too old." Caddy: "It's a long time since we started, sir."
Golfer: "Do you think I can get there with a 5-iron?" Caddy: "Eventually."
Golfer: "You've got to be the worst caddy in the world!" he screamed." Caddy: "I doubt it," replied the caddy. "That would-be too much of a coincidence.
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