Top 15 Complaints Of Modern Day Vampires

mark as unread

15. Grunge look makes it tough to tell living from the undead. 14. Nutrasweet or not, fat-free blood tastes like crap. 13. Hard to get a decent puncture with latex on your fangs. 12. Three Words: Daylight Savings Time. 11. Can't enjoy a meal at Burger King without some redneck yelling, "Look Ma! It's Elvis!" 10. After 45 years of Communist rule, it's impossible to find clean, uncontaminated Transylvanian soil for bottom of coffin. 9. After 100 years of trying, still can't score with Elvira. 8. No bat is safe with Ozzy Ozbourne around. 7. With all those crucifix-wearing Madonna clones, junior highs are suddenly off-limits. 6. No warm blood for miles around DC. 5. Exhausted from all those Calvin Klein photo shoots. 4. No small task beating F. Lee Bailey to a warm body. 3. Buxom wenches of old have been replaced by aerobicized "hardbodies." 2. Baboon heart makes everything taste gamey.

And the #1 complaint of Modern-day Vampires: 1. Sick and tired of being mistaken for Keith Richards.


How funny is this joke, video, picture?

Submitted By


smiley 5.9 PG

submitted: 1+ years ago

viewed: 2,311 times

categories: celebrities, entertainment, people computer, science, technology





Save to List


Personal Lists

Create New Personal List

List Name:

Allow Others to View/Subscribe:

save cancel


Community Lists

Create New Community List

List Name:

save cancel



User Comments Add Comment

showing 1 - 1 of 1 discussions       sort by: newest

0 thumb down thumb up
by Nicolas M. 1+ years ago

Can somebody explain me #5? Thanks =)

Reply to Nicolas M.'s comment
C5D4G_Top 15 Complaints Of Modern Day Vampires

Advertise | About Us | Terms of Use | Privacy Policy | Copyright Agent | Parents' Guide | Contact