On day there was a man that walked into a bar. He peered across the room to see another man holding his ass with a look of pain over his face.
He walked over and asked what was wrong with him. He said that he had a champagne cork lodged 12 inches up his ass. The other man looked in horror at him and asked why. He said that he had been walking through the desert when he found a bottle in the sand and kicked it.
He then said a genie came out and told him he would grant him one wish. He exclaimed "NO SHIT!!!"