15 Ways To Tell If You Are Fat
1. When you go on a diet, all the local restaurants go bankrupt
2. A super-value meal is named after you (and is not recommended for those lighthearted or with back problems)
3. Hot air ballooning companies keep on calling you and asking you to advertise for them.
4. You have been known to loose things and find them months later in the folds of your fat.
5. You only go places with double doors.
6. You were a stunt double for the monster in "The Blob."
7. When you burp, earthquake sirens go off.
8. When you fart, an earthquake occurs.
9. People run under you when it rains.
10. Security caught you at the zoo, staring enviously at elephants and asking which diet plan they use.
11. When you jump in the ocean it is high tide.
12. You were banned from all the "all you can eat" restaurants.
13. You have to be driven around by a fork lift.
14. When you run people think a t-rex is coming.
15. You were going to get the world record for the fattest person but they couldn't fit you in the photo.