If you don't believe in oral sex, keep your mouth shut.

Impotence: Nature's way of saying "No hard feelings"

Please tell your pants it's not polite to point.

If that phone was up your ass, maybe you could drive better!

Don't be sexist, broads hate that.

Saw it... Wanted it... Had a fit... Got it!

Constipated people don't give a shit.

Who lit the fuse on your tampon?

My kid got your honour roll student pregnant.

To all you virgins... Thanks for nothing.

If you can read this... I lost my trailer.

Your just jealous cause the voices are only talking to me.

I have the body of a God.... Buddha.

So manny pedestrians...so little time.

Eat right, exercise, die anyway!

Illiterate...Write for help.

Cover me... I'm changing lanes.

Boldly going nowhere.

Body by Nautilus, brain by Mattel.

If sex is a pain in the ass, then you are doing it wrong.

Honk if anything falls off.

If we quit voting, will they all go away.

Heart attacks... God's revenge for eating his animal friends.