Bill goes to his friend's house with 3 bandages and 2 black eyes. He walks in, and his friend asks what happens. Bill tries not to explain because it is so embarrassing. But his friend talks him into explaining.
Bill starts to talk... "Well I was branding a cow with my wife the other day, and it was a beautiful cow and a great looking brand. When we went to sleep, we heard the cow mooing in pain, so we went out to check what was happening. We went outside, and nothing was there, so we went back to sleep. Well, we woke up the next day to find our cow was gone, so we went to the nearby farm to look for the cow with our brand. We started searching, and I finally found it. I lifted the tail of the cow and saw a brand on its huge butt. So I yelled to my wife, THIS LOOKS LIKE YOURS HONEY!"