1. Cover your stump before you hump.
2. Before you attacker, cover your whacker.
3. Don't be silly cover your willy.
4. When in doubt, shroud your spout.
5. Don't be a loner, cover your boner.
6. You can't go wrong when you shield your dong.
7. If you're not going to sack it go home & whack it.
8. If you think she's spunky cover your monkey.
9. It will be sweeter if you wrap peter.
10. She won't get sick if you wrap your dick.
11. If you're going into heat, package your meat.
12. When your undressing your Venus wrap up your penis.
13. Especially in December, gift wrap your member.
14. Never, never deck her, with an unwrapped packet.
15. Don't be a fool, vulcanize your tool.
16. The right selection will protect your erection.
17. Wrap it in oil before you see if she's boiled.
18. A crank with armor will never harm her.
19. NO GLOVE, NO LOVE.