Not In College Anymore

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The first realizations that you're not in college anymore

* You're waking up at 6 a.m. instead of going to bed.

* Beers at lunch get you reprimanded.

* College sweatshirts are "casual" instead of dress up.

* Your parents charge rent.

* Your parents walk in while you are having sex, not your roommate.

* The five food groups are no longer beer, pizza, ramen, mac & cheese, and cereal.

* It's "getting late" when it's 9:30 p.m.

* Three words: school loan payments.

* You make thousands of dollars a year and still can't afford that dream Porsche.

* You start eyeing the Light Beer section appreciatively.

* Pickup football games mean that at least one person will be in the hospital by game's end.

* Discussing with your friends THEN: GPAs, phone rates, and tonsil hockey; NOW: IRAs, interest rates, and their kid's orthodontia.

* Sleeping on the couch is a no-no.

* Naps are no longer available between noon and 6 p.m.

* Sneakers are now "weekend shoes."

* Dinner and a movie = The whole date instead of the beginning of one.

* Your girlfriend being pregnant brings thought of tax deductions instead of coronaries.

* Jack and Cokes become Dewers on the Rocks.

* The only drugs you take are Tums and Tylenol.

* The weak single you hit in the intramural softball game is now remembered as a Varsity dinger for the League Championship.

* You get your news from sources other than USA Today, ESPN Sportscenter, and MTV News.

* Random hook-ups are no longer acceptable.

* You wear more ties/skirts in a week than you even owned while taking classes.

* You find yourself reminiscing fondly of two-hour calculus exams.

* You empathize with the characters from 'Friends".


* Football "season tickets" go from $75.00 for the season with dozens of friends to $750.00 for the season with the three other guys who want to get away from the family.

* Wine appreciation expands beyond Boone's and Mad Dog.

* You actually eat breakfast foods at breakfast time.

* Grocery lists contain relatively healthy food.

* When drinking, you say at least once per night, "I just can't put it down the same as I used to."

* You are the only person over the age of sixteen in your neighborhood with a Sega.


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smiley 6.4 PG

submitted: 1+ years ago

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categories: work, school





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