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I'm Glad I'm A Man

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Every single day, I give thanks to God that I was born a man instead of a broad I don't shave my legs, I stand up to pee When Oprah comes on, I turn off the TV

I go to a barber, not a beauty salon Don't pluck out my eyebrows just to draw them back on Don't wax my pubes so I can wear shorts I use my turn signal, I understand sports

Man, I'm glad I'm a man, man Tell you the reason I am man I dont' go through a faze, every 28 days Man, I'm glad I'm a man, man

I pay cash at the grocery, no checks or coupons Don't take lots of friends when I go to the john I don't buy shoes just because they're on sale and I don't throw a fit when I break a nail

Man, I'm glad I'm a man, man Tell you the reason I am, man I don't face the pain of water-weight gain Man, I'm glad I'm a man, man

I don't apply makeup in my rear-view mirror I don't think of Bambi when I'm out hunting deer I drink beer from a bottle and not from a glass I don't ask my friends about the size of my ass

Oh, I love your fair faces And your warm, soft embraces and I love those things inside of your blouse But if God took a rest and I woke up with breasts Not once would I ever leave the house

Man, I'm glad I'm a man, man Tell you the reason I am, man I don't take a pill, I don't use Massengill Man, I'm glad I'm a man, man

I don't spend hours getting ready for a date I don't play with dolls unless they inflate After sex in bed, my spot's always dry and when someone asks my age, I never lie

I don't read about orgasms in Vogue magazines I don't mind if my dates try to get in my jeans I don't spend a fortune on French lingerie These are probably the same shorts I wore yesterday

Man, I'm glad I'm a man, man Tell you the reason I am, man I find Michael Bolton, completely revolting Man, I'm glad I'm a man, man

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smiley 6.4 R

submitted: 1+ years ago

viewed: 13,248 times

categories: men, women, relationships

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