ACCIDENTALS: Wrong notes
AUGMENTED FIFTH: A 36-ounce bottle
BROKEN CONSORT: When somebody in the ensemble has to leave and go to the restroom.
CADENCE: When everybody hopes you're going to stop - but you don't
CADENZA: The heroine in Monteverdi's opera "Frottola"
CANTUS FIRMUS: The part you get when you can only play four notes
CHANSONS DE GESTE: Dirty songs
CLAUSULA: Mrs. Santa
CROTCHET: A tritone with a bent prong or CROTCHET: It's like knitting but it's faster
CUT TIME: When you're going twice as fast as everybody else in the ensemble.
DUCTIA: A lot of mallards
EMBOUCHRE: The way you look when you've been playing the Krummhorn
GARGLEFINKLEIN: A tiny recorder played by gnomes.
HOCKET: The thing that fits into a crochet to produce a rackett
INTERVAL: How long it takes you to find the right note. There are three kinds: Major Interval: A long time Minor Interval: A few bars Inverted Interval: When you have to go back one bar and try again
INTONATION: Singing through one's nose. Considered highly desirable in the Middle Ages
ISORHYTHMIC MOTET: When half of the ensemble got a different xerox than the other half
MINNESINGER: A boy soprano
MUSICA FICTA: When you lose your place and have to bluff till you find it again. Also known as faking
NEUMS(Gnomes): Renaissance midgets
NEUMATIC MELISMA: A bronchial disorder caused by hockets
ORDO: The hero in Tolkien's "Lord of the Rings"
PERFORMANCE PRACTISE: Sex education
ROTA: An early Italian method of teaching music without score or parts
TROTTO: An early Italian form of Montezuma's Revenge
LAUDA: The difference between shawms and krummhorns
SANCTA: Clausula's husband
LASSO: The 6th and 5th steps of a descending scale
DI LASSO: Popular with Italian cowboys
ORGANISTRUM: A job-related hazard for careless medieval percussionists, cause by getting one's tapper caught in the clapper
HURDY-GURDY: A truss for medieval percussionists who get Organistrum
QUAVER: Beginning viol class
RACKETT: Capped reeds class
RITORNELLO: An opera by Verdi
SINE PROPRIETATE: Cussing in church
TRANSPOSITION: An advanced recorder technique where you change from alto to soprano fingering (or vice-versa) in the middle of a piece
TROPE: A malevolent Neum
TUTTI: A lot of sackbuts
STOPS: Something Bach did not have on his organ
AGNUS DEI: A famous female church composer
METRONOME: A dwarf who lives in the city or METRONOME: A short person who rides the bus.
ALLEGRO: Leg fertilizer
RECITATIVE: A disease that Monteverdi had
ORCHESTRAL SUITES: Naughty women who follow touring orchestras
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