Q: Why doesn't Santa have any children? A: Because he only comes once a year, and when he does, it's down the chimney.
Q: Why are women's breasts like a train set a kid gets at Christmas time? A: Because they were originally made for children but it's the fathers who want to play with them.
Q: Why is Christmas just like a day at the office? A: You do all the work, and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.
Q: How are a Christmas tree and a priest alike? A: They both have ornamental balls.
Q: How come you never hear anything about the 10th reindeer "Olive?" Olive? A: Yeah, you know, "Olive the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names..."
Q: What do the female reindeer do when Santa takes the male reindeer out on Christmas Eve? A: They go into town, and blow a few bucks.
Q: What's the difference between snowmen and snow ladies? A: Snowballs.
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