Application to date my daughter

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Name: Last___________First______________ M. Initial_______ Age______

Address: ________________________________County______________________

Religion: ________________________#Attendance's in the Last Year_____

Parents: Father's Name________________#Marriages______#Years_________

Address________________________________________________

Mother's Name_______________#Marriages______#Years_____

Address________________________________________________

1. Do you own or drive a Van? ______________ (If so Please Discontinue Filling Out Form)

2. In 50 words or less, describe what NO!!!! Means to you_________

__________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________

3. In 50 words or less, describe what LATE!! Means to You_________

__________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________

4. Where would you least like To Be SHOT?_________________________

5. Which is the Last BONE You Want Broken?________________________

6. What do you want to be IF you grow up?_________________________

7. The Place for a WOMAN Is?______________________________________

8. What is MY Daughter's NAME? ___________________________________

9.Who besides GOD Should YOU FEAR the most? ______________________

Parental Use Only:

Appearance Looks Like:Status:

Mel Gibson ___________Accepted:__________

David Letterman_______Rejected: __________

Pee-Wee Herman________Pending: __________

NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, lineage, and current medical report from your doctor.

NAME______________________________________ DATE OF BIRTH_____________

HEIGHT____________ WEIGHT_____________ IQ__________ GPA_____________

SOCIAL SECURITY #____________________

DRIVERS LICENSE #_______________

BOY SCOUT RANK AND BADGES_____________________________________________

HOME ADDRESS__________________________

CITY/STATE___________ ZIP_____

Do you have ONE male and ONE female parent?__________

If NO, explain________________________________________________________

Number of years married________ If less than your age, Explain________

________________________________________________________________

Do you own a van?_____ A truck with oversized tires?_____

A waterbed?_________ A pickup with a mattress in the back?______

A condom?______ Pornography?_______

Do you have earring, nose ring, or a belly button ring?________

A tattoo?___________ (IF YES TO THE ABOVE, DISCONTINUE APPLICATION AND LEAVE PREMISES)

In 50 words or less, what does DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER, mean to you? _______________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________

In 50 words or less, what does ABSTINENCE mean to you? ________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________

When would be the best time to interview your father, mother, and priest?_____________

Answer by filling in the blank. Please answer freely, all answers are confidential. (that means I won't tell anyone EVER)

The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is ____________________

When I first meet a girl, the thing I notice about her first is ______________________

NOTE: if above answer begins with T or A, discontinue. Leaving premises keeping your head low and running in a serpentine fashion is advised.

What is the current going rate of a hotel room? _______________________

Condoms come in packages of

A: 3 B: 6 C: 9 D: 12 E: ALL OF THE ABOVE (circle one)

I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT, NATIVE AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, CRUCIFIXION, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE WATER TORTURE AND RED HOT POKERS.

___________________________________________

Signature (that means sign your name)

Thank you for your interest. Please allow four to six years for processing. You will be contacted in writing if you are approved. Please do not try to call or write.

If your application is rejected, you will be notified by two gentleman wearing white ties carrying violin cases (you might watch your back).

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submitted: 1+ years ago

viewed: 48,193 times

categories: men, women, relationships

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by nick s. 1+ years ago

ugh, i hate fathers

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C1LSP_Application to date my daughter

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